Craig Calcaterra

TORONTO, ON - OCTOBER 17:  Terry Francona #17 of the Cleveland Indians looks on prior to game three of the American League Championship Series against the Toronto Blue Jays at Rogers Centre on October 17, 2016 in Toronto, Canada.  (Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)
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Terry Francona lost an [expletive] tooth before [expletive] Game 3


While we were all worried and/or grossed out by Trevor Bauer‘s finger gushing blood like he was the Black Knight from “Holy Grail,” there was a another bit of David Cronenberg-esque body horror going on with the Cleveland Indians last night.

The body part: a tooth cap. The body part’s owner: Indians manager Terry Francona. It involved chewing tobacco and a 1am visit to a dentist in Toronto. Here, via the Plain Dealer, are Francona’s own words describing the incident, with some slightly more accurate yet still sanitized paraphrasing of Francona’s expletive-filled monologue:

“Right before the game, I mean, like literally, my lower tooth, the veneer popped out while I was chewing. That thing came off and I’m chewing and it felt crunchy. I was like, ‘Uh oh.’

“So, I undid my tobacco and there’s my tooth. So, I’m pissed now. I’m [expletive] hot. I called [team trainer] James [Quinlan] down and I gave him my tooth and I said, ‘You call [the team dentist] and tell him I’m going to [expletive] him up.’ And I said, ‘Tell him he better find me a [expletive] dentist up here tomorrow.’

“So then James comes back in, like, the third inning and I said, ‘Tell me you found a dentist.’ He goes, ‘I came to tell you about Trevor.’ I go, ‘[Screw] Trevor!’

“They found me a dentist last night. I went from [Rogers Centre] to a dentist last night at 1 o’clock in the morning. Some dentist met me downtown and [expletive] put it back in. How about that? That’s unbelievable. I’m good to go. Hell yeah, I’m good to go.

“It didn’t feel good when that tobacco hit that root during the game. I was so conscious of it. I kept [tonguing at it]. I was so mad. [The dentist] was in the training room the other day and he goes, ‘Hey, how are the teeth doing?’ He goes, ‘They’re [expletive] invincible.’ [scoffs] There’s not much there, man. It’s not real good looking.”

Still chewing tobacco with the veneer off, Tito? Well, I guess it is the [expletive] playoffs.

Here are the lineups for the Indians-Blue Jays game

TORONTO, ON - OCTOBER 17:  Jose Bautista #19 of the Toronto Blue Jays bats in the third inning against the Cleveland Indians during game three of the American League Championship Series at Rogers Centre on October 17, 2016 in Toronto, Canada.  (Photo by Vaughn Ridley/Getty Images)
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This could be the last game of the Blue Jays’ season. If it is, they are once again going with a former 50-HR man in the leadoff spot. Bautista has done this before the playoffs to varying degrees of success. For now it’s all about shaking him out of a slump: he’s 1-for-17 with no extra-base hits since homering in the ninth inning of Game 2 of the AL Division Series.

Manager John Gibbons made one lineup change from yesterday: he has flip-flopped Ezequiel Carrera and Kevin Pillar in the seventh and eighth spots. Godspeed, Toronto:

1. Jose Bautista (R) RF
2. Josh Donaldson (R) 3B
3. Edwin Encarnacion (R) 1B
4. Troy Tulowitzki (R) SS
5. Russell Martin (R) C
6. Michael Saunders (L) DH
7. Ezequiel Carrera (L) LF
8. Kevin Pillar (R) CF
9. Ryan Goins (L) 2B

For his part, Terry Francona is repeating his Game 3 lineup, which was also his Game 1 lineup:

1. Carlos Santana (S) DH
2. Jason Kipnis (L) 2B
3. Francisco Lindor (S) SS
4. Mike Napoli (R) 1B
5. Jose Ramirez (S) 3B
6. Lonnie Chisenhall (L) RF
7. Coco Crisp (S) LF
8. Tyler Naquin (L) CF
9. Roberto Perez (R) C

The game gets going just after 4pm Eastern time.

Must-Click Link: The Oral History of Baseball on “Seinfeld”

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As a 40+ year-old white guy, I am obligated to make mention of everything that has to do with (a) baseball; (b) “The Simpsons” and (c) “Seinfeld.” If it has to do with two of those things, it’s “Must-Click Link” material. Today we have one of those instances.

It comes from Rob Neyer, writing for Complex Sports. There, via interviews, research and a lot of “Seinfeld” watching, he has complied an oral history of baseball references in “Seinfeld.”

Watching the references change from the Mets to the Yankees over the run of the show tracked the rise of one franchise and the fall of the other and, as such, was art imitating life. Watching Keith Hernandez’ post playing career star rise was, in some ways, life imitating art. Watching Larry David do his crazy George Steinbrenner impression showed us how imitation (a) is not necessarily the sincerest form of flattery; and (b) often isn’t actually an imitation in any literal sense.

Anyway, it’s a fun article for everyone who likes baseball and “Seinfeld.” Which covers the majority of you, I presume.