Craig Calcaterra

hunter pence scooter
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Thieves steal Hunter Pence’s once-stolen scooter from the Make-A-Wish Foundation

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Almost two years ago, some jackwagon stole Hunter Pence’s motorized scooter. He used to to, um, scoot to games and bop around downtown San Francisco, and some jerkwad up and stole it from outside a restaurant. Thankfully, in the wake of a bunch of publicity over the theft, it was returned.

A happy ending, yes? Even happier when Pence donated the scooter to the Make-A-Wish Foundation for fundraising purposes. But then the jackwagons — different jackwagons, I’m sure — struck again. From NBC Bay Area:

A pair of thieves struck a Make-A-Wish Foundation office in San Francisco Saturday night and made off with a motorized scooter donated by San Francisco Giants outfielder Hunter Pence.

According to Patricia Wilson, the foundation’s executive director, the burglars were caught on surveillance cameras as they also escaped with laptops, iPads and other items.

What kind of evil-hearted person robs the Make-A-Wish Foundation? For what it’s worth, Hunter Pence himself is not pleased:

The way these things often turn out is that, in the long run, good things happen. Someone like Pence or other good-hearted people step up to give more than they might have or otherwise highlight the bad thing which befell a charitable effort in such a way that things turn out OK. That doesn’t make it OK, obviously. It doesn’t make the people who stole from a charity which LITERALLY GRANTS WISHES TO CHILDREN WITH TERMINAL ILLNESSES any less pieces of trash.

C’mon, humanity. Do better.

Yankees Opening Day postponed due to inclement weather

Yankee Stadium
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UPDATE: Welp, I was a tad too quick on the draw there. By the time I posted this, the Yankees had already postponed the game. The game will be made up tomorrow. This was the right call. And it’s good that they made it early so people could plan.

8:35 AM: The Astros and Yankees are supposed to kick of Opening Day Monday at 1pm today. People in New York, however, woke up to snow on the ground this morning, ice pellets falling from the sky and a very bracing 38 degrees or thereabouts. It’s supposed to warm up into the 50s by this afternoon, but the moisture isn’t going anyplace. Rain is forecast all day, with a 75-95% probability. In other words: ick.

If this game was going on in June they may wait until game time to see if they can get it in, but Opening Day is a different deal. More pomp, circumstance and scheduled festivities, don’t you know. As such:

 

My guess is that, in the parlance of baseball writers everywhere, they bang the game. But we’ll see.

John Oliver will give out six Yankees Legends seats tickets for 25 cents

In this image released by HBO, John Oliver appears in a scene from "Last Week Tonight with John Oliver." The show has been named one of the 10 Best TV shows by The Associated Press. (Eric Liebowitz/HBO via AP)
Associated Press
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You’ll recall in February that Yankees’ COO Lonn Trost gave a snobby and elitist interview defending the Yankees’ secondary market ticket policies by saying that rich fans who buy Legends Suites tickets don’t like to sit near fans who aren’t accustomed to sitting in premium seats. It was pretty clear what he was talking about. Poors. Undesirables, however someone like Trost defines them, DARING to be near the rich executives, elites and plutocrats who can afford the ridiculous prices the Yankees charge for those premium seats.

That furor had died down a bit, but last night HBO’s John Oliver took aim at Trost and the Yankees over those comments. And he did them one better. Oliver announced that he had purchased two Legends seats for the first three games of the season, right behind home plate. He plans to sell them for just 25 cents apiece, but there’s a catch:

“On one condition. You must dress like you have never sat in a premium location before. What that means is up to you.”

Given that this aired last night it may be too late, but the way the tickets will be handed out is you tweet a photo — presumably of you looking like a decidedly non-Legends Suites person — to his show (@lastweektonight) with the hashtag #ihavenversatinapremiumlocation, along with which of the three games you want to attend.

Here’s his segment, complete with a very disturbing pic of the Phillie Phanatic:

 

Way to stick it to the man, John.