There are people out there, believe it or not, who like dogs. I know, right? All of us normal, upstanding Americans doing what we can to make our country great by owning cats and yet some people still think that dogs are the better choice. I mean, good for the dogs — they’re innocent in this and at least someone is looking out for them — but the judgment of people who prefer them to cats is one of the greatest threats to our country. What’s next? We let them play center field? Perish the thought.
Anyway the Arizona Diamondbacks are catering to these monsters this year at Chase Field:
PetSmart, Inc. and the Arizona Diamondbacks are teaming up to create the first-ever season-long dog-friendly ballpark with a dedicated newPetSmart Patio, PetSmart Park and the Dog Days of Summer program, where dog-loving fans can bring their dogs to all 13 Sunday D-backs home games in the 2016 season. Pet parents will be able to enjoy America’s favorite pastime with their best friends at Chase Field with exclusive seating, a grassy play area nearby, and the PetSmart adoption spot that will feature adoptable dogs ready to find their forever homes among the D-backs’ fan base.
First team to install a Cat Room — an enclosed space with a large sun-facing window that provides a commanding view of the playing field along with some comfy chairs — will be the true geniuses. I’ll purchase season tickets and change my allegience to whatever club does this. Providing, of course, I’m allowed to unwind in the cat room whenever I want.
As for the Dbacks: OK, fine. This is a nice gesture. For the dogs, I mean, who again are sweet and innocent here and who deserve a nice place to visit. I mean, they have to live with dog people for crying out loud, and that has to be a drag. So needy, they are. Insisting on having a pet that is all about catering to their craving for validation rather than one which will peacefully coexist on their own terms with self-assured people who don’t need all of that attention. The least we can do for the poor dogs is to let them go to a ballgame once in awhile.
Major League Baseball just announced drug suspensions for four minor league players. Three of them are not unusual. Trever Adams of the Rangers got 50 games for amphetamines. Indians pitcher Jordan Dunatov and minor league free agent Dan Urbina each got 50-game suspensions for a second positive test for a drug of abuse.
Then there’s Toronto Blue Jays minor league pitcher Andrew Case. He got 50 games too. For failing to take a drug test.
I’m going to choose to assume that Case ‘roided up like there’s no tomorrow a day before the test and figured that (a) he’d never pass the test even though there’s probably a decent rate of guys who take them who nonetheless pass; and (b) he figured 50 games beat 80 for the positive PEDs.
I’m going to choose NOT to believe that he had simply used a drug of abuse and decided not to take the test, thinking that he’d somehow get ahead of things that way. Because that would just be depressing.
University of Michigan football coach Jim Harbaugh will be in Bradenton, Florida next week for some dumb football thing. No, I have no idea what it is, but it is a football thing so it’s, by definition, dumb. The details are unimportant.
What is important is that on one of the days he’ll be there — next Wednesday to be specific — the Tigers will be traveling from Lakeland over to McKechnie Field in Bradenton to take on the Pirates, which gives him a chance to demonstrate some Michigan sports synergy:
Harbaugh will coach first base for the Tigers for at least one inning in the game, sources Saturday confirmed to The Detroit News on Saturday. There also is the possibility he may don a Pirates jersey and coach an inning for Pittsburgh manager Clint Hurdle, a Big Rapids native and noted Michigan fan.
Harbaugh did this for the A’s last year. I don’t have any memory of that, but I assume it’l be intense. Hopefully he can even recreate the “There’s no crying in baseball” speech. Or, given how he acts on the sidelines, maybe he’ll just inspire Brad Ausmus or Clint Hurdle or someone to give it to him.