Craig Calcaterra

SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA - MAY 7:  Bartolo Colon #40 of the New York Mets hits a two-home run during the second inning of a baseball game against the San Diego Padres at PETCO Park on May 7, 2016 in San Diego, California.  (Photo by Denis Poroy/Getty Images)

A Mets fan loses a bet, gets a giant, ugly Bartolo Colon tattoo

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This smelled like a fake story when I heard it the other day, but now I’ve seen it picked up by MLB.com and the Daily News and other places so all I can conclude is that people with judgment this poor really do exist.

The person: a guy named Matt Sassi, a Mets fan, who made a bet with a friend at the beginning of the season that he would get a Bartolo Colon tattoo if Colon hit a home run this season. Given that Colon had played so long and grown so old without ever hitting a dinger it wasn’t exactly a high risk bet, but when the stakes are so high, even a seemingly sure thing strikes me as dangerous.

Yet, here we are. And here he is, with a really bad tattoo:

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The explanation:

There are few things in the world less important than a mans word. In this case, a statement was made at the beginning of the season, and it came true. Matt Sassi said to his buddy, Anthony Triola: “If Bartolo Colon hits a home run this year, I’ll get a commemorative tattoo”. Before the game on Saturday I met them in McFadden’s and they told me about this bet. You’d think, ok… that’s not happening. Right? WRONG!
Coolest part of the bet was that they were both there to witness the feat in person. Matt is a Middletown, NY native that moved to San Diego. What were the odds that Bart would be on the hill the day of our invasion? What are the odds he’d go yard? Slim to damn near impossible.

Matt could have chickened out and not gotten it at all, or gotten something small that could easily have been hidden. Instead he went balls to the freakin’ wall with pretty much a half sleeve. Tossed THE 7 LINE ARMY on there for good measure and added the date of Bart’s now famous swing.
You manned up, Matt. Bravo.

If that’s “manning up,” I’d be pretty happy with chickening out, but you be you, Mr. Sassi.

Video: A cat ran amok at the Cardinals-Angels game last night

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I’m such a crazy cat lady that, if I allowed myself, I’d turn this whole website into CatTalk and do nothing but post pictures, memes and videos of cats all day. But I don’t allow myself to do that because I realize I am a sick, sick man and that I have a problem and I’m not going to let it take over my life any more than it already has. NBC pays me for baseball talk and tolerates my thinly-veiled communist propaganda, but if I went full-cat freak, they’d probably fire me. One day at a time.

But when a cat gets loose on a baseball field, hey, serendipity. And even if you’re not a crazy cat lady, this video is worth it simply for the reactions and the camera work once the cat makes it into the stands. The part where you can’t actually see the cat yet know exactly where he is makes this thing. It’s like some old cartoon or something.

Fun times:

And That Happened: Thursday’s scores and highlights

ANAHEIM, CA - MAY 12:  Matt Holliday #7 of the St. Louis Cardinals hits a solo homerun during the fourth  inning of a baseball game between the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim and the St. Louis Cardinals at Angel Stadium of Anaheim on May 12, 2016 in Anaheim, California.  (Photo by Sean M. Haffey/Getty Images)
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Here are the scores. Here are the highlights:

Yankees 7, Royals 3: Chase Headley homered. When I heard that he did I gathered my children close and prepared myself for the meteor or for some great cosmic beast to come and consume us all, for this is End Times stuff. Didi Gregorius hit a two-run homer and Starlin Castro added a solo shot. That’s less ominous.

Orioles 7, Tigers 5: Stop me if you heard this one: the Tigers had a big lead, the starter faltered, Brad Ausmus went to his bullpen, some of you changed the channel for a bit or went upstairs to tuck the kids in and then, bam, you look up and the Tigers are losing. The five-spot the O’s put up in the seventh inning was done by virtue of five singles and Jonathan Schoop‘s  tiebreaking two-run triple. Brad Ausmus:

“We had a lead, couldn’t hold it. That’s the story of the game. There’s really not much else to it.”

No, that’s the story of the past half decade or more of Detroit Tigers baseball.

Red Sox 11, Astros 1: In a battle of aces only one ace came in and, um, aced. David Price struck out 12 and allowed only one run in six and two-thirds. Dallas Keuchel, however, was lit up for eight runs on ten hits in six. I’m sure it was all Carlos Gomez‘s fault somehow. Xander Bogaerts and Mookie Betts each drove in three runs. Red Sox’ run totals in the past four games: 14, 13, 13 and 11. That came against the A’s and now the Astros. In other news, the Red Sox have petitioned Rob Manfred to allow them to move to the American League West.

Phillies 7, Braves 4: Cameron Rupp hit a three-run double with two outs in the 10th inning to put the Phillies over. You’re not going to believe this, but Rupp said after the game that his hit came as a result of him “looking for a pitch I could drive.” I can’t believe Pete Mackanin is allowing his players to divulge trade secrets like that. Call this a moral victory for Atlanta as they were down 4-0 in the seventh before coming back to tie it and force extras. In late July everyone probably curls up into the fetal position and lets it end in nine.

Padres 3, Brewers 0: James Shields struck out a nine over seven shutout innings. Melvin Upton Jr. homered, had three hits in all, drove in two and scored twice. San Diego has won three in a row.

Giants 4, Diamondbacks 2: Johnny Cueto scattered eight hits over seven innings while striking out nine. Zack Greinke continues to be bafflingly bad, allowing four runs on eight hits in six. He’s 3-3 with a 5.26 ERA on the season.

Cardinals 12, Angels 10: Attack of the Matts. Two homers from Holliday and three RBI from him, Carpenter and Adams. The whole lineup should change their first names to Matt. Like the reverse Ramones or something.

Dodgers 5, Mets 0: Clayton Kershaw isn’t single-handedly keeping the Dodgers afloat, but he almost is. He pushes his record to 5-1 after a monster game in which he struck out 13 in a complete game shutout, lowering his ERA to 1.74. Just a total beast of a man, amused at the notion that people are thinking there is someone else who can wear the title of “best pitcher in baseball” right now.