Clayton Kershaw: calmer than you are, dude.
The Dodgers ace was driving outside of Camelback Ranch last week when a woman ran into the back of the car he was driving. They all pulled over and exchanged information and, once it was determined everyone was OK, Kershaw posed for a selfie with the woman who hit him. Her name is Tiffany Cole, and she posted to Facebook about it. The caption:
Welp…. I guess that’s one way to end our spring training vacation … But if you’re going to get in a car accident… Get in an accident with Clayton Kershaw. We are Banged and bruised, but ultimately alright. Thank you Kershaw for being so nice, Arizona highway patrol for dropping us off and Kahl/Guydos family for taking care of us!!
Thank goodness no one was hurt. Both because that would be bad in an absolute sense and because, if it was Kershaw, this poor woman would be . . . unpopular with Dodgers fans.
The human body is a wonderful mechanism. It has evolved organs and systems which specifically filter out toxins. It allowed our ancestors to survive on an omnivorous diet and to maximize our fitness despite the uncertainty of when our next meal was coming and where it was coming from. Our ability to survive on nearly anything is one of the many adaptive traits which helped us become the planet’s apex predator and its most dominant organism.
Technology for hunting, farming and, eventually, manufacturing foodstuffs made these toxin-filters a tad less critical. Food is more plentiful now and, overall, it’s safer. We have turned our liver over to more recreational filtration tasks, secure in the knowledge that the meats and vegetables we consume are less likely to destroy us. At least quickly. Bad diets over decades can be ruinous, but eating one single thing is far less likely to kill us now than it was 15,000 years ago.
Or at least that was the case before today:
Can we get those cheesesteaks they’re serving in Lehigh Valley down to Atlanta? Those are actually good. This seems like a bunch of questionable berries near our water source just off the savannah. It’s like a found carcass just outside our cave. Do we eat it? Do we dare? Maybe we survive? How robust are our filtration systems anyway?
Nothin’ like minor league promotions with local flavor. One will be coming to the Phillies Triple-A affiliate this summer when the Lehigh Valluey Iron Pigs will be known as the Lehigh Valley Cheesesteaks on their Salute to Philly Night on June 10.
Best part: fans can vote which cap the team will wear on the night. One featuring a cheesesteak “wit onions” or one ‘witout onions.” From the press release:
The Cheesesteaks black jersey design features the word “Steaks” emblazoned across the front chest in “Cheese Wiz” yellow. The chest patch, complete with the appearance of dripping cheese, was specifically designed to emulate the characteristics of hot cheese on a steak sandwich. The jersey’s sleeve patch incorporates the steak sandwich logo.
You all know that I have given Philly a tough time over the years, but I love me a cheesesteak. I haven’t been to a Philly for over ten years, but when I was there I ate the hell out of ’em. There are a couple of places here and in some other cities that do a passable version of it and even second rate cheesesteaks are a pleasure. This is a promotion I can truly get behind.
What else they’ll celebrate on “Salute to Philly Night” is an open question. But go vote for the cheesesteak hats here all the same.