Man flushes his friend’s ashes down ballpark toilets across the land

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What? Don’t look at me like that. You read the headline. You knew exactly what you were getting into here. This comes from the New York Times, though, so it’s classy and stuff. 

But yes, the story is pretty straightforward. A Mets fan named Tom McDonald was best friends with fellow Mets fan Roy Riegel. Riegel died nine years ago and McDonald was charged by Riegel’s family with disposing of his ashes in an appropriate manner. At first McDonald scattered some at ballparks and notable places, but then he realized it’d just be easier to flush him down the toilet at ballparks around the country:

“The game has to be in progress — that’s a rule of mine,” Mr. McDonald said one recent weeknight before entering a Citi Field bathroom, holding a little plastic bottle containing a scoopful of Mr. Riegel’s cremains . . . “I took care of Roy, and I had to use the facilities myself,” Mr. McDonald said, emerging from the stall with the empty container. “So I figure, you know, kill two birds . . I always flush in between, though,” he added. “That’s another rule of mine.”

It’s appropriate because Riegel was a plumber. And because, according to his friend, he was “a major partier” who “walked that tightrope between genius and insanity.” His cause of death was not specified, but the article says “The fast life caught up with him.” Whatever the case, McDonald thinks his friend would’ve wanted it this way. And who are we to question that?

So far, his ashes have been deposited at least nine stadiums. But not just stadiums:

In Cleveland, Mr. Riegel’s ashes were flushed at both Progressive Field and at the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, because Mr. Riegel was a devout rocker.

I bet he was.

Marlins intend to keep Christian Yelich

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With Giancarlo Stanton and Marcell Ozuna gone, the next logical step for the Marlins would be to trade away Christian Yelich. He’s be an amazingly attractive trade candidate given that he is under team control through 2022, and is owed a very reasonable $58 million or so. He just turned 26 last week and has hit .290/.369/.432 in his five year career. That’s the kind of player and contract that could bring back a mess of prospects.

Except the Marlins, it seems, don’t want to do that. Multiple reports have come out in the last hour saying that the Marlins intend to hold on to Yelich and to build around him.

That could be a negotiating ploy, of course. They’ll no doubt listen to offers and, if the right one comes along, they’d certainly give strong consideration to trading him. A good deal is a good deal.

The only question, in light of the events of the last week, is whether the Marlins would know a good deal if they saw one.