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Clayton Kershaw makes more money than the entire Padres roster

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While looking at the schedule for last week I noticed that the Dodgers face the Padres today. Obviously Clayton Kershaw gets the Opening Day nod for Los Angeles.

It seems rather cruel, actually. Like, we’re really gonna let a fully-rested Clayton Kershaw pitch against the 2017 San Diego Padres? Can’t someone step in to stop this? The carnage may be unspeakable.

Eh, it’s baseball. For all we know the Padres will rap eight hits in a row off of him to start the game and leave him in a six-run hole before the Dodgers even get to bat. That’s the beauty of this game. You never know what’s gonna happen in a single one of ’em. Even if I’m betting on carnage.

But no matter what happens, we’ll still have a major mismatch. In payroll. From Bill Shaikin of the L.A. Times:

Kershaw, the Dodgers’ ace and three-time National League Cy Young Award winner, will earn $33 million this season, the highest salary of any player in the major leagues.

The Padres, in a season that might best be described as “extreme tanking,” have committed to pay $28 million to the 25 players on Monday’s active roster.

USA Today has the salaries of every single player on Opening Day rosters this year if you’re into that sort of thing.

Godspeed, Padres batters.

Report: Glen Perkins will retire from baseball

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According to MLB.com’s Rhett Bollinger, Twins GM Thad Levine told 1390 Granite City Sports that reliever Glen Perkins will retire.

Perkins, 34, has battled shoulder injuries over the last two years, limiting him to a total of 7 2/3 innings between 2016-17. His decision doesn’t come as much of a surprise given the circumstances. The Twins declined his $6.5 million club option back in October, making him a free agent.

Across parts of 12 seasons, all with the Twins, Perkins compiled a 3.88 ERA with 120 saves and a 504/158 K/BB ratio in 624 1/3 innings. He ranked among baseball’s best closers from 2013-15, racking up 102 of those saves with a 3.08 ERA. The lefty made the American League All-Star team in each of those three seasons.