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Must-click link: the pitcher who could not swing but got a hit

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Almost everything Sam Miller of ESPN writes is entertaining and enlightening but this thing he wrote today about Mets pitcher Robert Gsellman is one of my favorites in a while.

Gsellman, you may or may not know, tore the labrum in his non-pitching shoulder last year. He could still pitch, but he could not swing a bat. Except he still went up to the plate 17 times in 2016, most of them before the world at large knew that he had a torn labrum and could not swing. Miller takes us through each and every one of his plate appearances like a forensic detective, trying to determine whether or not the opposition knew — or should have known — that Gsellman literally could not swing a bat.

The results are somewhat sobering. Not from a substantive baseball perspective, as even a healthy Gsellman was not likely to do much damage to the opposition or, frankly, to the Mets, no matter how wonderfully or poorly he hit. It’s more sobering with respect to just how cautious and observant the average human being is in this thing we call life.

Miller brings this point home after Gsellman combined with Jake Thompson and Ryan Howard of the Phillies in a play that led to Gsellman — the man who could not swing — getting his only hit of the year. It happened when each of them failed to do the most very basic things possible under the circumstances: (a) to take a pitch when you can’t swing a bat; (b) to throw a 3-0 strike to a guy who can’t swing; and (c) to field a bunt from a guy who was 100% likely to lay down a bunt:

Look. You have expectations when you walk out the door every morning. You expect basic competency: The chef at the restaurant knows the difference between cooking oil and bleach. You expect basic self-preservation: The guy driving in the opposite direction as you isn’t suicidal. You expect that cause and effect will follow predictable rules: The cashier will give you a handful of change, not a raccoon

You expect to turn on a baseball game and see two capable, self-interested teams. And you end up with a batter who can’t (and shouldn’t) swing a bat, a pitcher who can’t throw a strike and Ryan Howard standing 15 feet behind the bag. Mathematically speaking, all three of these men are better at their job than your doctor is. Cheers.

Hope your checkup went well today and the MRI was read properly.

Report: Brewers sign Yovani Gallardo to a major league deal

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Free agent right-hander Yovani Gallardo is headed back to the Brewers on a major league deal, The Athletic’s Ken Rosenthal reports. No other terms have been reported yet, as the agreement is still pending a physical.

Gallardo, 31, completed a one-year run with the Mariners before getting his $13 million option declined by the team last month. He provided little value during his time in Seattle, pitching to a 5-10 record in 22 starts and putting up a 5.72 ERA, 4.1 BB/9 and 6.5 SO/9 in 130 2/3 innings as both a starter and reliever.

Still, assuming the veteran righty is on the cusp of a comeback, he may as well try for it with his original club. Gallardo last appeared for the Brewers from 2007 to 2014, racking up a cumulative 20.8 fWAR and peaking during the 2010 season, when he earned his first All-Star nomination and Silver Slugger award. This will be his ninth career season with the club.

Even with Gallardo aboard, the Brewers are expected to continue deepening their pitching stores for 2018. With team ace Jimmy Nelson still recovering from shoulder surgery, the club will enter the season with a projected rotation of Gallardo, Zach Davies, Chase Anderson and Junior Guerra, the latter of whom pitched just 70 1/3 innings in 2017 following a right calf strain and shin contusion. Another big name pitcher could help cement Milwaukee’s rotation and keep them competitive for another year, though they don’t appear to have made any concrete moves in that direction so far.