Wanna run a team’s Twitter account?

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MLBAM has put up a post announcing job openings for the position of “In-game social media coordinator” for the Angels, White Sox, Reds, Rockies, Yankees, Blue Jays and Nationals.

There’s a full job description there, but the upshot is that you’d run your team’s Twitter account during games. If you’ve spent any time on Twitter, you know how that works: be sort of cute while promoting the team with commentary, photos, video clips and all of that. Be enthusiastic and try to go viral but not bad viral. And no, we can’t tell you what is good viral and what is bad viral beforehand. We’ll only know once the fallout happens.

The best part of the job listing itself is the list of suggested topics MLBAM gives you in order for you to do some sample tweets of the kind of stuff you’d post during games. They ask you to compose a tweet for each situation, pretending it’s occurring in real time, and include it in your cover letter. Here they are, with my stab at responses. I’ll pretend they’re for the Braves, even if that job isn’t open:

Your team’s star hitter wins the batting title

“Batting average is so dumb. OBP is way better. Good for Freeman on that .330, but he’s no Joey Votto! #GoBarves”

First day of Spring Training games

“And thus begins a month of meaningless, mailed-in baseball. None of this matters. #EntropyIsReal”

Team wins ninth straight game

“*Inserts audio clip of The Beatles’ “Revolution 9”* #BagismShagismDragismMadism”

Last hour of #FinalVote. Your team’s star hitter is neck and neck with a division rival.

“Did you know that Bryce Harper is a socialist? God, that’s a disgrace. Pick Dansby in the #FinalVote.”

20% off all Club.com shop items

“Do not buy any Braves merchandise with the tomahawk on it. It’s a grotesque appropriation of native symbols. #GoBarves”

Ace starter goes down with elbow injury in 8th inning

R.A. Dickey HAS NO ELBOW LIGAMENT. This must be a false flag operation. #JetFuelCantMeltSteelBeams”

Your team’s best outfielder does it again, making an incredible diving play.

“Inciarte!!!! The Diamonbacks are trash. Nice trade LOL”

Your manager gets ejected after arguing the result of a replay review.

“Man, Snitker’s sure got the red ass today.”

 

Where do I go to sign my employment contract?

Video: Albert Almora, Jr. lays out to make a great catch in deep right-center field

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Cubs center fielder Albert Almora, Jr. robbed Giants first baseman Brandon Belt of at least a double in the top of the first inning of Monday’s game at Wrigley Field. Almora completely left his feet to catch the ball before landing just shy of the warning track.

The Giants took the early lead two batters prior to Belt’s at-bat as Joe Panik hit a solo home run to center field.

Anibal Sanchez accepts optional assignment to Triple-A

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The Tigers announced on Monday that pitcher Anibal Sanchez has accepted an optional assignment to Triple-A Toledo. Pitcher Warwick Saupold was recalled from Toledo to take Sanchez’s roster spot.

Sanchez, 33, continued to struggle this season pitching out of the bullpen. He gave up 26 runs (21 earned) on 34 hits and nine walks with 22 strikeouts in 21 innings. Nine of those 34 hits were home runs. Sanchez finished the 2015 season with a 4.99 ERA and last season with a 5.87 ERA, so he’s had a rough go of it in recent years.

The decision to go to Triple-A was Sanchez’s, Anthony Fenech of the Free Press reports. Sanchez wants to be stretched out as a starting pitcher again.