Wanna run a team’s Twitter account?

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MLBAM has put up a post announcing job openings for the position of “In-game social media coordinator” for the Angels, White Sox, Reds, Rockies, Yankees, Blue Jays and Nationals.

There’s a full job description there, but the upshot is that you’d run your team’s Twitter account during games. If you’ve spent any time on Twitter, you know how that works: be sort of cute while promoting the team with commentary, photos, video clips and all of that. Be enthusiastic and try to go viral but not bad viral. And no, we can’t tell you what is good viral and what is bad viral beforehand. We’ll only know once the fallout happens.

The best part of the job listing itself is the list of suggested topics MLBAM gives you in order for you to do some sample tweets of the kind of stuff you’d post during games. They ask you to compose a tweet for each situation, pretending it’s occurring in real time, and include it in your cover letter. Here they are, with my stab at responses. I’ll pretend they’re for the Braves, even if that job isn’t open:

Your team’s star hitter wins the batting title

“Batting average is so dumb. OBP is way better. Good for Freeman on that .330, but he’s no Joey Votto! #GoBarves”

First day of Spring Training games

“And thus begins a month of meaningless, mailed-in baseball. None of this matters. #EntropyIsReal”

Team wins ninth straight game

“*Inserts audio clip of The Beatles’ “Revolution 9”* #BagismShagismDragismMadism”

Last hour of #FinalVote. Your team’s star hitter is neck and neck with a division rival.

“Did you know that Bryce Harper is a socialist? God, that’s a disgrace. Pick Dansby in the #FinalVote.”

20% off all Club.com shop items

“Do not buy any Braves merchandise with the tomahawk on it. It’s a grotesque appropriation of native symbols. #GoBarves”

Ace starter goes down with elbow injury in 8th inning

R.A. Dickey HAS NO ELBOW LIGAMENT. This must be a false flag operation. #JetFuelCantMeltSteelBeams”

Your team’s best outfielder does it again, making an incredible diving play.

“Inciarte!!!! The Diamonbacks are trash. Nice trade LOL”

Your manager gets ejected after arguing the result of a replay review.

“Man, Snitker’s sure got the red ass today.”

 

Where do I go to sign my employment contract?

Steven Matz likely to start season on DL; Zack Wheeler to adhere to innings limit

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Mets manager Terry Collins said on Wednesday, “It’s unlikely that [Steven Matz] will start the season with us.” The final spot in the Mets’ starting rotation will go to either Zack Wheeler or Seth Lugo, Newsday’s Marc Carig reports.

On Wheeler’s innings limit, assistant GM John Ricco said, “There’s going to be some number but we don’t exactly know what that is.” Wheeler missed the last two seasons after undergoing Tommy John surgery.

Neither Wheeler nor Lugo have had terrific springs as each carries a 5.11 and 5.56 Grapefruit League ERA, respectively. However, Carig notes that Wheeler has impressed simply by appearing healthy and brandishing a fastball that once again sits in the mid- to high-90’s. Lugo, meanwhile, proved crucial to the Mets last year, posting a 2.67 ERA across eight starts and nine relief appearances.

Rockies sign 30-year lease to stay in Coors Field

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Nick Groke of the Denver Post reports that the Rockies agreed to a $200 million, 30-year lease with the Metropolitan Baseball Stadium District, which is the state division that owns Coors Field. As part of the deal, the Rockies will lease and develop a plot of land south of the stadium, which will cost the team $125 million for 99 years.

As Groke points out, had the Rockies not reached a deal by Thursday, March 30, the lease would have rolled over for five more years.

Rockies owner Dick Monfort issued a statement, saying, “We are proud that Coors Field will continue to be a vital part of a vibrant city, drawing fans from near and far and making our Colorado residents proud.”

The Rockies moved into Coors Field in 1995. It is the National League’s third oldest stadium. In that span of time, the Rockies have made the playoffs three times, the last coming in 2009 when they lost in the NLDS to the Phillies. The Rockies were swept in the 2007 World Series by the Red Sox.