Albert Pujols plays the “you never played the game!” card

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Helene Elliott of the Los Angeles Times has a piece about Albert Pujols. One which acknowledges the obvious — Pujols now is not what he used to be — but that he still has his value and his moments and how he’s still producing just fine for the first place Angels.

Pretty standard story for when a former all-world star ages and loses a step. And Pujols has a pretty standard retort to anyone who has the temerity to note that, no, it’s not 2008 anymore, unfortunately:

Age and mileage on his legs have, inevitably, dimmed Pujols’ brilliance. But he’s far from washed up, and said he learned to ignore critics who snipe from afar without all the facts.

“Those genius think that, why they don’t come and try and hit a ball? They’re sitting behind a desk or punching numbers in a computer or writing in the paper. That’s what their job is, to try and be negative towards the players,” he said. “But they don’t know that this game is tough. This game is not easy. You can be 100% and it’s not easy — imagine when you have injuries. At the end of my career, I will know what I have accomplished in this game. At the end of my career, then we can look back. If I can play the seven years I have left on my contract we’ll see where we’re at.”

Yeah, if only there was some objective standards — some metrics — by which one could see the decline in a baseball player’s performance and which would justify them making the innocuous and factual statement that he’s not quite as good as he once was. Sadly, no such thing exists and we’re all forced to shut up unless we actually go and face major league pitching.

This stance bugs the hell out of me. Mostly because when athletes say such things they’re railing against non-existent critics. No one with any sense or reason says that Pujols is a bad person because he can’t hit like he did when he was 27. No one thinks he’s particularly unusual in terms of his career arc and (relative) decline. To the extent his contract is criticized it’s not a personal thing — who wouldn’t take that money? — and criticism of it is leveled at the Angels for offering it, not for Pujols accepting it. Show me the “critics who snipe from afar” who say such things. Because I’m not sure who he’s talking about here.

[ RELATED: Is Pujols’ contract still worth it to the Angels? ]

More generally: we don’t live in a world in which only those who do a thing are capable of talking about that thing. No one who writes about music thinks they can play the guitar like a rock star, but they are certainly capable of talking about how a band isn’t as good as it once was. No one (well, no one with self-awareness) who writes about politics thinks they could lead a nation, but they are certainly capable of talking about a politician failing to fulfill his or her promises. And no one who writes about baseball thinks they can hit a major league fastball, but we’re certainly capable to noting when a hitter is in decline. And Albert Pujols is in decline.

If Pujols needs to compare himself to his critics in this fashion to motivate him, well, whatever works. But if he hopes to change any minds with such an approach voiced publicly, good luck.

And That Happened: Saturday’s Scores and Highlights

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Saturday’s slate featured all the components of great (read: entertaining) baseball, from Aaron Judge‘s double-deck moonshot and Jacob May‘s first major league hit to the worst squeeze bunt attempt of Chase Anderson‘s career. Here are the rest of the day’s scores and highlights:

Cubs 12, Reds 8: The Cubs didn’t have to mount another rally to clinch their tenth win of the season. Jake Arrieta led the charge through six innings, allowing five runs, striking out eight batters and putting up his fourth career triple on a changeup from Lisalverto Bonilla:

The rest of the Cubs feasted on home runs, from Anthony Rizzo’s two-run blast in the first inning to Jason Hayward’s three-run shot and Wilson Contreras’ first major league grand slam. The Reds got in a few knocks of their own, with Eugenio Suarez putting up a solo homer in the first and Joey Votto coming just a triple shy of the cyclebut 12 runs ended up being more than enough to see the Cubs through to another win.

Tigers 5, Twins 4: A benches-clearing confrontation, two ejections and a disastrous hit by pitch isn’t exactly what the doctor ordered, but at the end of the day, the Tigers stood atop a 5-4 win for their ninth victory of the season. A better reward? Knowing that while JaCoby Jones needed nine stitches in his lip after taking a 90 m.p.h. fastball to the face, he isn’t expected to miss significant time on the disabled list this year.

Athletics 4, Mariners 3: First place in the AL West may be an unattainable goal for the Athletics right now, but it sure looks like they’re starting to gel. Adam Rosales and Jed Lowrie wasted no time getting on the board in the first inning with a pair of home runs, and Khris Davis added an RBI groundout in the third to give the A’s a much-needed edge. The Mariners, on the other hand, will need to work fast to solve their problems on the road, since they still have another seven games to play before they return to Seattle on May 2.

Nationals 3, Mets 1: Every start Gio Gonzalez has made in 2017 has looked near-flawless, but Saturday showcased some of his best work. The Nationals’ left-hander carried a no-hitter through five frames, retiring 15 of 18 batters, striking out three and issuing three walks before Juan Lagares broke up the no-no in the sixth. Two at-bats later, Asdrubal Cabrera singled home the Mets’ first run of the night, but Gonzalez settled down to strike out the side and the Nats’ bullpen took care of the rest, cementing the lefty’s second win of the year.

Yankees 11, Pirates 5: In the words of the inimitable George Orwell: All home runs are equal, but some home runs are more equal than others. Specifically, this home run — a ninth-inning, 2-2 fastball obliterated 457 feet into the second deck of PNC Park — was created to stand above the rest.

Rays 6, Astros 3: Fun fact: George Springer currently leads all active MLB players with 205 consecutive major league appearances. Not-so-fun fact: That streak likely came to an end on Saturday, when Springer exited in the fifth inning with left hamstring discomfort. Astros’ manager A.J. Hinch told reporters that the outfielder is expected to sit out of Sunday’s finale against the Rays.

Phillies 4, Braves 3 (10 innings): The dramatic finish to Saturday’s 10-inning marathon was less the product of individual heroics and more of a group effort, due in part to some defensive miscues that perfectly positioned the Phillies for a walk-off win. Third baseman Maikel Franco had the honor of driving in the winning run with a two-run, bases-loaded single, his first game-winning knock since August 3, 2016.

Orioles 4, Red Sox 2: No retaliatory measures were taken against the Orioles on Saturday after Dustin Pedroia was injured on a takeout slide during Friday’s 2-0 loss, but Boston manager John Farrell is still pretty upset about the whole ordeal. Baltimore prevailed a second time, turning in a four-run fourth inning on back-to-back home runs from Trey Mancini and Jonathan Schoop and an RBI single from Adam Jones.

Indians 7, White Sox 0: Jacob May probably slept a lot easier on Saturday night after recording his first major league hit during the White Sox’ 7-0 loss. The 25-year-old center fielder subbed in for an injured Melky Cabrera in the seventh inning and promptly singled off of the Indians’ Carlos Carrasco, ending his streak at 26 hitless at-bats.

The crowd gave the rookie a standing ovation for his feat, though the team would go on to lose 7-0 after Carrasco and Zach McAllister joined forces for the club’s second consecutive shutout of the year.

Cardinals 4, Brewers 1: Bunts are tricky animals, nearly impossible to wrangle unless you get the timing and circumstances just right. Neither the timing nor the circumstances were aligned for Brewers’ right-hander Chase Anderson, who attempted a squeeze bunt in the fifth inning of Saturday’s 4-1 loss and watched the play unravel in the worst way:

Rangers 2, Royals 1: Heading into Saturday’s game, the Royals’ rotation held a combined 2.36 ERA, good for lowest in the league. Their 2-1 loss to the Rangers did little to move the needle there, though their offense still leaves much to be desired. Mike Moustakas drove in the Royals’ only run of the night, making Saturday’s loss the sixth consecutive game in which they’ve mustered two or fewer runs.

Diamondbacks 11, Dodgers 5: Dodgers’ skipper Dave Roberts is weighing his rotation options, which should come as little surprise after Kenta Maeda was shelled in Saturday’s loss. The right-hander, who self-diagnosed his problem as being more “results-oriented” than “process-oriented,” gave up nine hits, five runs and four homers in five innings against the Diamondbacks. It was a significant boost for the D-backs, whose double-digit win helped tighten their grip on the NL West with a 12-7 record, just half a game shy of tying the Rockies for the division lead.

Rockies 12, Giants 3: Speaking of NL West competitors, it’ll take some effort to unseat the Rockies after they bulldozed the Giants in a 12-run finish on Saturday. It wasn’t an entirely fair match, however, as the Giants have lost several players to injuries over the past week and were forced to remove outfielder Denard Span in the second inning after he sprained his right shoulder on a catch at the wall.

Marlins 6, Padres 3 (11 innings): Giancarlo Stanton‘s home runs bookended the Marlins’ first extra-inning victory of the year, but the win wasn’t all about flashy home runs and game-winning knocks. Martin Prado snared a would-be walk-off hit in the 10th inning, preserving the tie and giving Stanton — and the rest of the Marlins — another chance for redemption in the 11th.

Angels 5, Blue Jays 4: There have been quite a few grand slams circulating in the majors this weekend, and the most recent one belongs to Andrelton Simmons. Simmons’ slam off of Casey Lawrence in the third inning proved the deciding factor in the Angels’ 5-4 win, providing Anaheim with just enough of a buffer as Toronto attempted a comeback in the ninth.

It’s a nice break for the Angels, who snapped a three-game losing streak and currently sit fourth in the AL West. The same can’t be said for the Blue Jays, whose 4-13 record is the worst across both leagues.

Angels move Garrett Richards to 60-day disabled list

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Angels’ right-hander Garrett Richards has been moved to the 60-day disabled list, according to a team announcement on Saturday. Richards was originally placed on the 10-day disabled list in early April after sustaining a right biceps cramp during his first start of the season. No timetable has been given for his return to the mound, though Pedro Moura of the Los Angeles Times speculates that his return date could be pushed back to June.

While the Angels report that Richards is making some progress in his recovery, he’s still experiencing some “irritation of the cutaneous nerve,” which could be preventing him from working back up to full strength. The veteran righty already missed 154 days of the 2016 season after suffering a UCL injury, and opted for biometrics surgery to repair the ligament rather than undergoing a more intensive Tommy John procedure.

This is Richards’ seventh season with the Angels. He last pitched a full, healthy season in 2015, delivering a 3.65 ERA, 3.3 BB/9 and 7.6 SO/9 over 207 1/3 innings. He’s currently one of eight Angels pitchers serving time on the disabled list, including left-hander Andrew Heaney and right-handers Cam Bedrosian, Andrew Bailey, Vicente Campos, Huston Street, Mike Morin and Nick Tropeano.