Sideburns

FYI: The “Homer at the Bat” episode will air this morning at 11:30AM Eastern

29 Comments

For those unaware, the FXX network is currently running a marathon of every “Simpsons” episode ever. When I went to sleep last night the one where Bart ruined Thanksgiving by tossing Lisa’s centerpiece into the fire had just aired. It’s somewhere in the third season right now. At 11:30 Eastern this morning one of the best early-season episodes of the show will air: the baseball-themed “Homer at the Bat” episode.

For those unfamiliar — and if you are, it’s probably because you’re some painfully young person, for whom 1992 was either far too early to have formed coherent thoughts or (shudder) before you were born — “Homer at the Bat” features a ton of actual Major League Baseball player cameos. Roger Clemens, Daryl Strawberry, Ken Griffey, Jr., Wade Boggs, Jose Canseco, Ozzie Smith, Don Mattingly and many others. They were assembled by Mr. Burns in order to create a ringer softball team. Calamity strikes, however, zaniness ensues, etc. etc.

A couple of years ago, Erik Malinowski wrote a history of the episode over at Deadspin, and it’s must-read material for both hardcore “Simpsons” fans and anyone with affection for baseball players of the 80s and early 90s.

But before reading it: shave those sideburns.

Josh Johnson retires from baseball

PEORIA, AZ - FEBRUARY 21: Josh Johnson #55 of the San Diego Padres poses during Picture Day on February 21, 2014 at the Peoria Sports Complex in Peoria, Arizona. (Photo by Mike McGinnis/Getty Images)
Mike McGinnis/Getty Images
2 Comments

Oft-injured pitcher Josh Johnson is retiring from baseball, ESPN’s Jerry Crasnick is reporting.

Johnson, 32, hasn’t pitched in the majors since 2013. The right-hander underwent his third Tommy John surgery in September 2015 but wasn’t able to bounce back.

Johnson spent most of his career with the Marlins, but also pitched for the Blue Jays in the big leagues, as well as the Padres in the minors. He retires with a career 3.40 ERA, 915 strikeouts across 998 innings in the majors, and two All-Star nominations. Johnson led the National League with a 2.30 ERA in 2010, finishing fifth in NL Cy Young Award balloting. One wonders what he could have accomplished if he was able to stay healthy.

Report: Angels close to a multi-year deal with Luis Valbuena

HOUSTON, TX - JULY 08:  Luis Valbuena #18 of the Houston Astros hits a three run walkoff home run in the ninth inning to defeat the Oakland Athletics 10-9 at Minute Maid Park on July 8, 2016 in Houston, Texas.  (Photo by Bob Levey/Getty Images)
Bob Levey/Getty Images
Leave a comment

The Angels are nearing a multi-year deal with free agent third baseman Luis Valbuena, Jeff Fletcher of the Orange County Register reports. It’s believed to be a two-year contract with a third-year option.

Valbuena, 31, hit .260/.357/.459 with 13 home runs and 40 RBI in 342 plate appearances in 2016. He missed most of the second half with a hamstring injury, for which he underwent surgery in late August.

Valbuena has played a majority of his career at third base, but also has extensive experience at second base and has racked up innings at first base and shortstop as well. He won’t play every day for the Angels, as Yunel Escobar lays claim to third base and C.J. Cron first base, but he will give them flexibility and a left-handed bat off the bench.