Sideburns

FYI: The “Homer at the Bat” episode will air this morning at 11:30AM Eastern

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For those unaware, the FXX network is currently running a marathon of every “Simpsons” episode ever. When I went to sleep last night the one where Bart ruined Thanksgiving by tossing Lisa’s centerpiece into the fire had just aired. It’s somewhere in the third season right now. At 11:30 Eastern this morning one of the best early-season episodes of the show will air: the baseball-themed “Homer at the Bat” episode.

For those unfamiliar — and if you are, it’s probably because you’re some painfully young person, for whom 1992 was either far too early to have formed coherent thoughts or (shudder) before you were born — “Homer at the Bat” features a ton of actual Major League Baseball player cameos. Roger Clemens, Daryl Strawberry, Ken Griffey, Jr., Wade Boggs, Jose Canseco, Ozzie Smith, Don Mattingly and many others. They were assembled by Mr. Burns in order to create a ringer softball team. Calamity strikes, however, zaniness ensues, etc. etc.

A couple of years ago, Erik Malinowski wrote a history of the episode over at Deadspin, and it’s must-read material for both hardcore “Simpsons” fans and anyone with affection for baseball players of the 80s and early 90s.

But before reading it: shave those sideburns.

No structural damage found in Andrew Benintendi’s knee

ST. PETERSBURG, FL - AUGUST 24:  Shortstop Matt Duffy #5 of the Tampa Bay Rays tags out Andrew Benintendi #40 of the Boston Red Sox after Dustin Pedroia grounded into the double play  during the seventh inning of a game on August 24, 2016 at Tropicana Field in St. Petersburg, Florida. (Photo by Brian Blanco/Getty Images)
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Good news in Boston: An MRI on Red Sox outfielder Andrew Benintendi‘s left knee revealed no structural damage.

Benintendi slipped while trying to avoid a tag at second base, injuring his leg, but it appears he’s avoided a serious injury. A timetable for his return isn’t known at this point, but the Red Sox expect to get him back before the end of the season.

Benintendi is hitting .324/.365/.485 with a homer and ten RBI in 21 games.

Carlos Ruiz leaves a goodbye note for the Phillies

CLEARWATER, FL - FEBRUARY 26:  Carlos Ruiz #51 of the Philadelphia Phillies poses for a portrait on February 26, 2016 at Bright House Field in Clearwater, Florida.  (Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)
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And then there was one. One player from the 2008 World Series champs, that is. Ryan Howard likely isn’t going anywhere so he’ll be the last one to turn the lights off, but today Carlo Ruiz bid adieu to the Phillies following his trade to Los Angeles.

Lost in all of the emotions the Dodgers are reported to be feeling about A.J. Ellis leaving is the fact that Ruiz was one of the most beloved Phillies players ever, by both his teammates and their fans. Yesterday Roy Halladay penned a heartfelt goodbye to Ruiz, suggesting that he was every bit as essential to his and the Phillies’ success as Ellis has been to Clayton Kershaw (and in pure baseball production, obviously, quite more).

Today Chooch left a message for his now former teammates: