Mike Lupica to Matt Harvey: Grow up!

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Mike Lupica tells Matt Harvey he needs to grow up. It’s pretty close to incoherent, even by Lupica’s standards — I’d bet my children this was dictated from the car as he rode to the ESPN studios or wherever he was over the weekend — but here’s the paraphrased version:

Matt Harvey thinks he’s so big and, yes, actually, he IS so big. But he doesn’t need to constantly remind us of all of the things he’s doing in his rehab even though people who cover the Mets report on every single little thing about what he’s doing in his rehab and eve though Mets fans really want to know what’s going on with his rehab too.

And he needs to cut out this enthusiasm he has to get back on the field, because that’s just bad. I mean, not as bad as when Mets players show something less than enthusiasm to to get on the field — we kill guys for that! — but still pretty bad. And this coming back from injury early thing is nearly as bad as lingering on the DL longer than we M.D.s in the media think is appropriate.

Gosh, I am so lost and lonely and only care about baseball insofar as it allows me to lecture young punk kids to not be young punk kids.

If you get anything else out of that column, let me know, because that’s how it read to me. I will quote one bit of actual Lupica, though:

One of these days, Matt Harvey needs to remember — and that probably means before he hurts his arm again — that his job is to be a star young baseball pitcher, not some sort of needy celebrity who acts as if he gets the bends when he is out of the spotlight for very long.

Physician, heal thyself.

My take on Harvey: it’s better to listen to your manager and your GM, dude, and you should be a bit more aware of the media environment in which you play. But beyond that, you’re cool. Get your arm ready and pitch when we tell you to and it’ll all be fine.

I feel like one can take that position and not have baseball be ruined, but I suppose only time will tell.

Video: Jake Arrieta hits a 465-foot home run off of Zack Greinke

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Jake Arrieta‘s bat is in midseason form already. The Cubs’ ace swatted a solo home run to center field off of Zack Greinke in Thursday afternoon’s Grapefruit League exhibition game, his first homer of the spring.

The blast went 465 feet, according to MLB.com’s Daren Willman.

Arrieta has hit two home runs in each of the past two seasons. Madison Bumgarner (eight) and Noah Syndergaard (four) are the only other pitchers to match or exceed his output in that department.

Greinke, meanwhile, is hoping to bounce back after a miserable 2016 season. He finished with an uncharacteristic 4.37 ERA in 26 starts in his first year with the Diamondbacks.

Luis Valbuena to miss four to six weeks with a strained right hamstring

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Angels first baseman Luis Valbuena will miss the next four to six weeks with a strained right hamstring, Pedro Moura of the Los Angeles Times reports.

Valbuena, 31, signed a two-year, $15 million contract with the Angels in January and was on track to get the lion’s share of the playing time at first base. While he’s out, however, C.J. Cron will handle first base on a regular basis. When Valbeuna returns, the two will likely form a platoon.

Last year with the Astros, Valbuena hit a solid .260/.357/.459 with 13 home runs and 40 RBI in 342 plate appearances.