The time Dee Gordon threw 944 pitches and lost a game by the score of 164-16

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Also, Adam Dunn ht 81 home runs. One of them did anyway. There were 25 of them. There were also 25 Bartolo Colons, Dee Gordons, and Koji Ueharas. They all played against each other in a four team league.

Confused? You won’t be, after reading Patrick Dubuque’s description of his Clone Baseball League:

Thus I began this mad, stupid experiment. The premise is simple: using everyone’s favorite realistic baseball simulation, Out of the Park 2015, I created teams of baseball players by cloning a single player until they filled the active roster, and set them against each other in 162 games of gory combat. The results exceeded my wildest expectations.

The four teams in the CBL (Clone Baseball League) are:

• The Adam Dunns
• The Dee Gordons
• The Bartolo Colons
• The Koji Ueharas

The results are even crazier than the premise. Let’s just say that Dee Gordon — one of them; I forget which — has a serious grievance with his team and its medical staff.

I love this stuff. Jon Bois of SB Nation did this with football last year in his “Breaking Madden” series. I used to do rudimentary versions of this with weird baseball simulators from the 1980s and 1990s (I was a big Lance Hafner fan). It’s fun to play God. And often hilarious.

Video: Gift Ngoepe singles in his first major league at-bat

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Pirates infielder Gift Ngoepe, just called up from Triple-A Indianapolis, singled in his first major league at-bat on Wednesday evening against Cubs starter Jon Lester. It was a well-struck ground ball up the middle in the bottom of the fourth inning. Unfortunately for him, the Pirates could not bring him around to score.

Ngoepe, who was pinch-hitting, stayed in the game to play second base.

Shelby Miller getting third opinion on elbow from Dr. James Andrews

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Diamondbacks starter Shelby Miller was placed on the 10-day disabled list on Monday due to inflammation in his right elbow. He had a second opinion from Dr. Neal ElAttrache on Tuesday and is currently awaiting a third opinion from Dr. James Andrews, Craig Grialou of Arizona Sports reports. That he’s getting a third opinion seems to imply that Miller’s elbow issue is rather serious.

Miller, 26, hasn’t been able to catch a break since joining the Diamondbacks. Last year’s nightmarish season included a finger injury stemming from mechanical woes and a brief demotion to the minor leagues. In 20 starts in the majors last year, Miller posted an ugly 6.15 ERA. This year, his ERA is a mediocre 4.09 over four starts.

The Diamondbacks called up Zack Godley to take Miller’s spot in the rotation. There was some speculation that it would be Archie Bradley instead, but he’s been working out of the bullpen.