Oh joy, we get to revel in PED names being named again

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I assume there is a long German word that describes the simultaneous disgust at seeing PED users’ names revealed and the joy with which we get to shame them. It’s probably something like GreggDoyelSchenfruede or something like that:

I have a list. So do you, right? If you’re a baseball fan and you’re hearing that more names are about to be connected to Biogenesis, the cheatingest PED factory since BALCO, this is where you dig through your mental rolodex for the names of guys you’re sure are cheating.

Don’t worry, Doyel is no going to do so something as irresponsible as name names with no evidence. But he has promised to tell you later if they were on his list. Which, I assume was constructed with great scientific rigor.

What do I look for? I’ll tell you some day, when the list comes out and if any of my names are on there. I figure one of them will be at least. This stuff is easy, really. It’s simple to look at certain guys and just think, just know, “He’s not doing that legally.” Especially given what we know about the nature of baseball, just like the nature of sprinting and cycling. Certain things have never been possible before, and while breakthroughs and advances do happen, there are some ceilings that get cracked that just don’t seem plausible. Not legally plausible, anyway.

So true. I mean, when I look at the feats of Everth Cabrera, Jhonny Peralta, Antonio Bastardo, Francisco Cervelli, Jordany Valdespin, Jesús Montero, César Puello, Sergio Escalona, Fernando Martínez, Fautino de los Santos and Jordan Norberto my first thought is “It’s so obvious. The things they have done are utterly IMPOSSIBLE! Let me go check my list, ah, yes. There they are.”

But I have spoken with Doyel online before and I do believe his anger and outrage at PED users is genuine. I just also happen to believe that he would do better, as would we all, if instead of channeling that anger and outrage into a parlor game of speculation, name-naming and player shaming, we actually thought about came up with some ideas about how and why guys cheat and whether trotting out lists of names for public ridicule and nothing more is the best way to go about it. George Mitchell did that several years ago. It hasn’t really worked out.

But I truly do hope that your list is correct, Gregg. It will truly mean something then.

Umpire ejects Blue Jays manager, pitcher and catcher in the space of a minute

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We have an Ump Show in Toronto.

Umpire Will Little ejected Blue Jays pitcher Marcus Stroman and catcher Russell Martin on the same play in today’s A’s-Jays game after they took issue with a called ball. Blue Jays manager John Gibbons had been ejected just two pitches earlier. As the above photo shows, Martin took issue with Little’s strike zone earlier in the game when he was batting.

Stroman had issued six walks before his ejection and both he and the Blue Jays bench were unhappy with Little’s strike zone all afternoon. Stroman’s unhappiness, however, did not appear to be super demonstrative. He did not visibly show up Little or get into an argument with him. If anything, he seemed to be just muttering to himself which should not be a problem.

Little felt otherwise, however — acting as if his honor was being questioned or something — and tossed him. Stroman then charged toward Little, which is not a thing you see everyday. He’ll probably get a fine or a suspension for that, but really, this was a B.S. ejection, and the fact that Little ran both the pitcher and the catcher moments after running the manager compounds the B.S. Apparently Little’s ego is worth substantially impacting a team’s ability to compete in a game.

Here is the final walk, issued to A’s catcher Bruce Maxwell, followed by Stroman’s charge.

The Nationals hit five home runs in the third inning against the Brewers

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How’s your day going? Pretty good? Mine too, thanks.

Don’t ask Milwaukee Brewers’ pitcher Michael Blazek that, however. His day has been pretty bad. Why? Because he gave up six homers to the Washington Nationals in two and a third innings. Five of those came in the bottom of the third, four from consecutive batters. The breakdown:

First inning

  • Bryce Harper hit a two-run shot to right. No other damage.

Second inning

  • Blazek retired the side in order. Yay!

Third inning

That made it 8-0 and ended Blazek’s day. Wily Peralta came in and has since given up an RBI double to Jose Lobaton, making it 9-0. As I write this, the third inning just came to an end. Mercifully.

So, take heart. Even if you are having a bad day, it’s probably not as bad as poor Michael Blazek

UPDATE: Harper doubled in a run and Bryce Harper hit a two-run shot in the fourth to make it 12-0. Someone needs to put a stop to this before someone gets killed.

UPDATE: Now Jose Loboton has homered. This is madness. And it’s something to watch. The Nats now have eight homers: