A guy rushed the field in Arizona to take a selfie with Gerardo Parra. And to flash some sweet moves.

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Rushing the field is dumb, but it’s way dumber when you don’t have a plan. Say what you will about this jackwagon in Phoenix for Friday night’s Cubs-Diamondbacks game, but at least he had a plan.

As the screen grab here shows (via Breitbart), it appears that his entire goal was to take selfies as he ran around the Chase Field outfield. Looks like he got a good one with Gerardo Parra:

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As the video shows, he also had some pretty sweet moves:

Kudos to the security people for not hitting him with a taser or choke-slamming him or anything. Those sorts of moves have become the style lately, even though it’s basically never warranted for drunk jerks running out onto baseball diamonds.

Kyle Schwarber: Before and After

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It’s always a bit deceiving to see offseason workout photos of players who are said to be getting into great shape because guys in those pics are wearing compression shirts and crap and we’re used to seeing them in baseball uniforms. I remember pics of Miguel Cabrera and David Ortiz in the offseason looking svelte, only to see them in uniform come spring as their familiar beefy selves. Uniforms are often loose and billowy and the players wear  a couple of layers when they’re suited up, so at least visually speaking it’s better to compare apples to apples.

Which brings us to Kyle Schwarber. All offseason long we’ve been getting reports about Schwarber working out, losing weight and, of course, getting into The Best Shape of His Life. And some of those pics have definitely shown a young man who has cut fat and gotten lean. Good for him!

Let’s see how that translates to Schwarber in uniform. Here is is at spring training last year:

MESA, AZ – FEBRUARY 21: Kyle Schwarber #12 of the Chicago Cubs poses during Chicago Cubs Photo Day on February 21, 2017 in Mesa, Arizona. (Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images)

 

Here he is toward the end of last season:

CHICAGO, IL – SEPTEMBER 09: at Wrigley Field on September 9, 2017 in Chicago, Illinois. (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)

And here he is now:

MESA, AZ – FEBRUARY 20: Kyle Schwarber #12 of the Chicago Cubs poses during Chicago Cubs Photo Day on February 20, 2018 in Mesa, Arizona. (Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)

 

Nice goin’, kid.