I used the self-serve beer machine at Target Field and now I shall tell the tale

58 Comments

MINNEAPOLIS, MN — I spied it from afar:

source:

I approached:

source:

I figured out how much it would cost me:

source:

I followed the rules:

source:

I made my choice. You can see how stressed I was by all of this:

source:

I poured my beer:

source:

That was $5.50 worth of beer. I still have $4.50 left on my $10 card. I am reserving the right to go back later though, truth be told, there is a ridiculous amount of good beer here in Minneapolis so I’m not sure I want to waste any more of my remaining liver/brain cell capacity on Bud than I have to.

[RELATED: All-Star game’s continued irrelevance could be saved by this one thing]

Also: look how lame that pour is. Not a professional job by any stretch of the imagination. I figure the twin-draw of this technology for the ballparks is that (a) in the long run they will save money on having to pay people to draw beer for customers; and (b) they figure people will buy more beer thanks to the novelty of it. There are probably some line-shortening/capacity efficiencies at play here too and the fact that lots of people will leave money on the card. I like to think, however, that bartending, even when it’s only about slinging American lager to people, is an art form. And part of me doesn’t much care for the mechanization of yet another aspect of life. But such is the nature of progress.

All that aside, I will give the people behind DraftServ credit for running a smooth operation. It is well-attended and administered, with someone checking IDs before handing out the cash-loaded cards and someone else in charge of roping off the area where the taps are so as to keep people from sneaking by. Macrobrews at ballparks is a volume business and this is about as efficient as you can get with that.

[RELATED: How to save the Home Run Derby]

Still: seek out the good beer, folks. And have a pro pour it for you. Life is way better that way.

The Rangers release artists’ renderings of their new ballpark

Texas Rangers
3 Comments

There’s a lot people can say about the Rangers getting a new ballpark so soon after they got their last ballpark. There’s a lot that can be said about its funding and the priorities society places on professional sports as opposed to other things public money can be spent on. It’s also the case, however, that no matter how much is said about it, the Rangers are getting a new Globe Life Park. Which they’ll call Globe Life Field, but close enough.

Today the architects behind it all released artists’ renderings of the new joint. Necessity and priorities aside, the place looks pretty good for a park with a roof. We’ve come a long way since the old domes:

They’ll break ground on September 28. The Rangers are set to begin play in the new place in 2020.

The top 100 Jock Jams

Getty Images
7 Comments

Why yes, it is a slow news day. So here’s a fun list from Billboad: The 100 Greatest Jock Jams of all time.

You know ’em when you hear ’em. “Seven Nation Army.” “Rock and Roll Part 2.” “Sirius” by the Alan Parsons Project. Songs that existed before they were used at sporting events but songs you rarely ever hear outside of them anymore and, frankly, kinda don’t want to because they’ve been forever turned into sporting event anthems.

It’s hard to disagree with this list. Queen’s “We Will Rock You” is at number one. I’ll grant that, even if you hear that way less now than you used to, mostly because it was SO overused as, perhaps, the original jock jam from the 1980s-forward. All of the rest make sense.

Baseball lends itself far less to jock jams than the other sports as the intensity level of the game is so much lower for the most part. Also, since the rankings tried to intentionally stay away from songs that relate to only one sport there is no “Centerfield” or “Glory Days” or songs like that. Baseball is represented, though, with “Sweet Caroline” at number 20. Likewise, you might hear any number of these songs when the bases are loaded and the visiting manager comes out to make a pitching change. A lot of players use these songs as walkup music too.

A good time killer on a slow day.

(h/t to my wife, who sent me the link and said “Did you see this? Could be a good garbage post”). Um, thanks?