John Lackey on Nelson Cruz: “Not even going to comment … I’ve got nothing to say about him”

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Nelson Cruz went 5-for-5 with two doubles, a homer, and two singles as the Orioles won the nightcap of a Fenway Park doubleheader on Saturday against the Red Sox. John Lackey was on the other end of that offensive outburst, tallying a season-high-matching 11 strikeouts but surrendering five runs on 10 hits as the host Red Sox fell to 39-48 (.448) on the year.

The right-hander was then asked about Cruz in his postgame media scrum and offered this (via Eduardo A. Encina of the Baltimore Sun):

“I’m not even going to comment on him,” Lackey said. “I’ve got nothing to say about him. There are some things that I would like to say, but I’m not going to. You guys forget pretty conveniently about stuff.”

Lackey is of course referring to the 50-game performance-enhancing drug suspension that Cruz was handed last year for his involvement in the Biogenesis scandal. What’s “convenient” in this case is bringing up an already-served punishment — however vaguely — after taking a beating on the mound.

Cruz did his time. And now he’s tied for the MLB lead in both home runs and RBI.

Imagining Theo Epstein in politics

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“When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer.”

Or: “When Theo Epstein won World Series championships with the two most championship-starved franchises in baseball history, he got bored, and decided to run for the Senate or something.”

That latter bit is the premise of a Politico piece speculating that the Cubs president could go into politics one day. The story features an interview with former Obama chief strategist David Axlerod, who thinks Theo has what it takes. Mostly what he has is fame, popularity, good looks and money. No idea what his positions on issue are, but that other stuff goes a long way in politics these days.

Bonus: given what we just elected last fall, a guy who once had a little temper tantrum and dressed up in a gorilla suit is just as viable a candidate as anyone.

Another interestingly named player is promoted by the Pirates

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When you promote a player from the minors, the first and foremost consideration is whether or not he can help your ball club. But, assuming that’s taken care of, teams should really, really make it a priority to call up dudes with cool sounding names because it makes life more interesting for the rest of us.

The Pirates are doing that. The other night Dovydas Neverauskas made his big league debut. In addition to being the first Lithuanian born-and-raised player in major league history, it’s a solid, solid name. Now the Pirates are making another promotion: Gift Ngoepe.

Yep, Gift Ngoepe. He’s an infielder from South Africa, making the leap to the bigs due to David Freese‘s hamstring injury. Ngoepe, 27, was batting just .241/.308/.379 through 66 plate appearances this season with Triple-A Indianapolis, his ninth in the minors, so he’s not exactly a prospect. But man, that’s a killer name.

It’s also worth mentioning that Gift and Neverauskas were arrested together in a bar fight last August in Toledo, so there is already a good basis for some bonding here.

Good luck, Gift. Gift Ngoepe. Mr. Ngoepe. G-Ngo. Man, I could do this all day.