Andrew Sullivan often mentions the fact that when he was a reporter at the New Republic his editor, Michael Kinsley, would say that he wished he had a single key on his computer that he could press before even reading an article that would delete all semicolons and replace them with a period and automatically capitalize the next word. Why? Because, Kinsley thought, semicolons were useless crutches which enabled bloated, aimless prose and served to prevent the writer from actually saying something useful, clear and succinct.
If I ever seriously mess up in life and find myself editing some Yankees columnist, I’d want a key that automatically deletes any variation of “If George Steinbrenner were alive” and replace it with the words “[columnist] is ill today. He will return next week.”
The latest abuser of this shopworn cliche of Yankees analysis: Bill Madden:
If George Steinbrenner were alive, you know there would be some kind of shakeup. Heads would roll somewhere. Changes — if nothing else for the sake of changes — would be in the offing.
That’s the difference between a regular columnist and a Spink Award-winning columnist like Madden. The Spink Award guy has the guts and job security to add the “heads would roll” cliche to the “if the Boss were still alive” cliche. He throws it all out there.
In other news, Steinbrenner is still dead. And even when he was alive, he had spent the last 15 years or so running a Yankees team with managerial and executive stability nearly unrivaled in all of baseball. Why? Because he changed and matured and realized that he couldn’t do things like he did back in 1982 and be successful anymore.
If only New York columnists could do that.
We noted yesterday that in the rush to name the Cubs the saviors of Chicago sports fans everywhere, the 2005 Chicago White Sox — and the 1959 White Sox for that matter — are being completely overlooked as World Series champs and pennant winners, respectively.
That continued last night, as first ESPN and then the Washington Post erased the Chisox out of existence in the name of pushing their Cubs-driven narrative. I mean, get a load of this graphic:
Was there no one at the world’s largest sports network — not an anchor, production assistant, researcher, intern or even a dang janitor who could tell them what was wrong with this? Guess not!
Meanwhile, the normally reliable Barry Svrluga gives the Cubs the 2004 Red Sox treatment as a group of players who will never have to buy a drink in their city again. His story is better about keeping it franchise-centric as opposed to making it a city-wide thing, but whoever is responsible for the tweet promoting the story makes a Cubs World Series a unique thing for not just Cubs fans, but Chicago as a whole:
The White Sox play in the AL Central so I assume their fans have no love at all for the Cleveland Indians. But I can’t help but think a good number of them are rooting for the Tribe simply to push back against the complete whitewashing of the White Sox.
This is happening, people.
Earlier we heard Joe Maddon being non-committal about Kyle Schwarber joining the Cubs for the World Series. Now it seems pretty clear that the Cubs are committal indeed: Jon Morosi reports that Schwarber is en route to Cleveland from Arizona on a private jet and that he’s expected to DH in Game 1 tomorrow night.
Schwarber hasn’t played in a game that counted since April 7. His potent bat is could be a windfall for a Cubs team that didn’t have a game-changing option at DH in the American League park.
Schwarber lost the whole season due to a knee injury, but he hit .246/.355/.487 with 16 homers and 43 RBI in 69 games as a rookie in 2015. His big coming out party was in the playoffs, however, when he hit three homers in five postseason games while going 7-for-13 with two walks in five games.