Deflated Football

Great Moments In Living with the NFL Hegemony

79 Comments

A true story from late this morning:

Guy: Thank you for calling DirecTV, how can I help you?

Me: Hi, I just got the notice that my NFL Sunday Ticket package is going to renew in September unless I call to cancel. I’d like to cancel, please.

Guy: You currently have NFL Sunday Ticket, correct?

Me: Well, I had it last season. It was free as part of that offer. I don’t want to pay for it, though, so I’d like to cancel.

Guy: Would you be willing to keep NFL Sunday Ticket if it were offered at a lower price?

Me: No. I don’t watch football. Just, not at all. I had it free last year and didn’t use it once.

Guy: You don’t watch football?

Me: An occasional college game, but I don’t like the NFL.

Guy [somewhat incredulously]: You’re not an NFL fan? Really?

Me: Really.

Guy: I see you have the MLB Extra Innings package, though.

Me: Well, yes. That’s baseball. I like baseball. I don’t like football, though, so I don’t want the football package.

Guy: I’m sorry, I just meant that I see that you’re a sports fan, so . . . [tails off, realizing he’s straying from “the customer is always right” thing]

Me: Nah.

Guy: OK, I’ll have to transfer you to our cancellations department. I’ll just put a note on your account [quotes note as he’s typing] “Does. Not. Like. The. NFL.” [there is still a pretty strong note of incredulity in his voice].

To be fair, the representative to whom I spoke was quite pleasant and, after that brief exchange, my request was handled to my satisfaction, as was another unrelated request. I really do love DirecTV and have never had a thing to complain about with respect to their product or their customer service. I highly recommend them if you have the means and don’t have tall trees to you direct southwest.

Still: the notion that someone merely saying that they’re not a fan of professional football is surprising to people tickles me. You can tell it made him go off script for a second. I almost felt like it would’ve been easier to whip out the almost always inadvisable “don’t you know who I am?” thing. Because if he was aware of my football-hating bonafides, it woulda saved us some time.

Report: Padres working on trading Andrew Cashner

ST. LOUIS, MO - JULY 21: Starter Derek Norris #3 of the San Diego Padres pitches against the St. Louis Cardinals in the first inning at Busch Stadium on July 21, 2016 in St. Louis, Missouri.  (Photo by Dilip Vishwanat/Getty Images)
Dilip Vishwanat/Getty Images
17 Comments

Jon Morosi of FOX Sports and MLB Network reports that the Padres are working to trade starter Andrew Cashner. He notes that a deal may be consummated before he takes the hill for Tuesday’s start in Toronto against the Blue Jays. The Marlins, Orioles, and Rangers have had reported interest in Cashner.

Cashner is 4-7 with a 4.79 ERA and a 61/27 K/BB ratio in 73 1/3 innings. He missed over three weeks between June 11 and July 2 due to a strained neck.

The right-hander is earning $9.625 million this season and will be eligible for free agency after the season.

Nationals activate Ryan Zimmerman from the disabled list

LOS ANGELES, CA - JUNE 22:  Ryan Zimmerman #11 of the Washington Nationals reacts to his run to tie the score 1-1 with the Los Angeles Dodgers during the second inning at Dodger Stadium on June 22, 2016 in Los Angeles, California.  (Photo by Harry How/Getty Images)
Harry How/Getty Images
2 Comments

The Nationals announced on Tuesday that the club activated first baseman Ryan Zimmerman from the 15-day disabled list. Zimmerman had been out since July 7 with a strained rib cage on the left side.

Zimmerman has been inserted in the sixth spot in Tuesday’s lineup against the Indians. The veteran went on the DL with a lackluster .221/.284/.402 triple-slash line with 12 home runs and 38 RBI in 313 plate appearances.

Clint Robinson and Daniel Murphy split time at first base in Zimmerman’s absence, which allowed Trea Turner to get regular playing time at second base. Turner will play center field on Tuesday night.

The Nationals also activated pitcher Sammy Solis from the disabled list. Solis had been out since July 7 with inflammation in his right knee.