In spring training Miguel Olivo actually said he wanted to be a boxer “like Mike Tyson, but without biting an ear”

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Sometimes the world is just too perfect. I mean, it really sucks for Alex Guerrero, but for the rest of us it’s pretty perfect. I’m talking about this interview — pointed out to the English-speaking baseball world by Eric Stephen of True Blue LA — in which catcher/cannibal Miguel Olivo said that if he weren’t a baseball player that he would’ve been a boxer. “Like Mike Tyson, but without the ear biting.”

 

There are no accidents, people.

In other news, the Dodgers have suspended Olivo pending an investigation of the ear-biting thing. Which, OK, investigate all you’d like but I’m pretty sure he bit a part of Alex Guerrero’s ear off and that that was bad. Why you don’t just release the journeyman catcher on veteran minimum deal for assaulting/eating your prize infield prospect I’m not sure.

But then again, Dodgers GM Ned Colletti did say the other night that Olivo’s attack of Guerrero was “not constructive,” — yes, he really said that — so I sorta feel like maybe they haven’t really grokked the seriousness of it all. Not preparing for a meeting is “not constructive.” Biting someone’s ear off is something  . . . more.

David Wright went 0-for-4 in his rehab debut

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David Wright started at DH and went 0-for-4 with two strikeouts in his rehab debut with High-A St. Lucie last night.

The results are not all that important compared to the fact that Wright actually played in a game. Wright acknowledged as much afterward, saying “There’s still quite a bit to go to where I want to be, but it was a good first step.” Wright said he “felt pretty good,” and that while he’d like to see better results as soon as possible, he’s happy just being out there right now.

Wright is shooting to join the Mets for the final few weeks of the 2017 regular season after being out of action since May of 2016 with back and neck ailments. It’s hard not to root for the guy.

Must-Click Link: The Day a Mascot Got Ejected

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Today Jonah Keri gives us a fantastic story about a crazy game.

The Dodgers played the Expos in Montreal 28 years ago today. The game went 22 innings. It was a 1-0 game. More notable than the 21 and a half innings of scoreless ball, however, was the fact that Dodgers manager Tommy Lasorda got the Expos mascot — Youppi — ejected. The Dodgers and Expos didn’t score much that year overall, but when have you ever seen a mascot ejected?

Some good lunchtime reading for y’all, complete with silly GIFs and a video of the whole dang game if you hate yourself so much that you’d watch it all in its entirety.