Matt Cain

Now it can be told: Matt Cain sliced his finger cutting a sandwich into “fancy triangles”

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Giants right-hander Matt Cain was placed on the disabled list after cutting his finger while trying to make a sandwich in the team clubhouse.

That’s an injury that lends itself to a lot of ribbing from teammates, fans, and even media members, so Cain felt the need to clarify that … well, he does know how to make a sandwich without slicing his hand open. He just struggles with the whole post-sandwich making routine, apparently.

Via Hank Schulman of the San Francisco Chronicle:

Cain wants it known that he had finished the ham-and-cheese sandwich and grabbed the knife so he could cut it. “I went to cut it, to make it fancy in triangles,” he said. When he dropped the knife he tried to catch it, and now he is on the DL for the second time in his career.

Who among us hasn’t been hurt by our sandwich vanity? It’s a tale as old as time. I once tried to cut the crust off a turkey sandwich and ended up murdering a family of six. Also, pro tip: In general, don’t try to catch knives.

President Obama Welcomes the Cubs to the White House

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As we noted last week, The Chicago Cubs took the unusual step of not waiting until the summer after winning the World Series to make their customary White House visit to meet the president. They did it today, seeing President Obama a few short days before he leaves office.

Despite the fact that Obama is a White Sox fan, he met the Cubs with diplomacy and grace. It’s almost as if he’s been in that business for the past eight years. In return, he was given some gifts by the Cubs: Theo Epstein presented Obama with a No. 44 Cubs jersey, a tile from the center field scoreboard at Wrigley Field, and a lifetime pass to Wrigley as well.

Obama is staying in D.C. after he leaves office this week, hanging around so his daughter can finish high school in the same place she started. Even so, he’s likely going to be back to Chicago a good bit over the rest of his life, so he’ll likely be able to put the free pass to work. Assuming it comes with, like, six companion passes for his Secret Service detail.

Royals sign Danny Duffy to a five-year, $65 million contract extension

KANSAS CITY, MO - SEPTEMBER 02:  Starting pitcher Danny Duffy #41 of the Kansas City Royals pitches during the game against the Detroit Tigers at Kauffman Stadium on September 2, 2016 in Kansas City, Missouri.  (Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images)
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The Kansas City Royals have signed starter Danny Duffy to a five-year, $65 million contract extension.

Duffy was arbitration eligible this offseason and would’ve been a free agent next winter if he hadn’t signed the deal. Given his stuff he might’ve made a mint as a free agent, but he’s also been inconsistent at times and any pitcher is an injury away from losing a payday, making this a nice, lucrative bet for the lefty.

Duffy, 28, posted a 3.51 ERA and a 188/42 K/BB ratio across 179.2 innings in 2016.