Introducing “Bush League”: Dirk Hayhurst’s baseball RPG which rewards cheating and dirty play

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Earlier today I linked Dirk Hayhurst’s guide to scuffing baseballs. Dirk’s full-on heel-turn continues, as today marks the release of his baseball role-playing game for iPhone. Yes, it’s a real thing. And it sounds pretty fantastic:

In Bush League: The Baseball RPG you play as an aspiring prospect looking for an edge to make it to the top of baseball. In your quest for greatness, you turn to PED use. Unfortunately, all the other players are using them as well. If you want to beat the best, you’ve got to out cheat the best. 

Bush League lets you mix and match different PED powers to turn yourself into the perfect player. And you’ll need those powers if you’re going to best Bush League’s 24 bosses, each based on a real baseball personality. Cleat chasers who give you mysterious rashes, starting pitchers who like to tweet too much, hypocritical commissioners, meathead home run hitters, and robotic umpires bent on human annihilation. It’s all here, and more! 

Go here to see an extended description of it, complete with some awesome comic-book style illustrations of the characters, many of whom look an awful lot like people you may know. Like, for example, a Commissioner of Baseball who bears a strange resemblance to a used car salesman-turned Sith Lord Emperor of the galaxy. Go to the iTunes store to get the game. It’s $2.99, and based on what I’m seeing so far, it has to be worth it.

Drew Smyly has a torn UCL, will undergo Tommy John surgery

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Ryan Divish of the Seattle Times reports that Mariners starter Drew Smyly has a torn UCL and will undergo Tommy John surgery.

Smyly was diagnosed with a flexor strain in his left elbow at the end of spring training. He had been on the shelf since then, but was throwing bullpen sessions. He was set to throw his first simulated game today, but that was scratched after he said his arm didn’t feel right in his last throwing session. The Mariners called it “a little setback.” A reexamination shows that this is not little, obviously.

The Mariners acquired Smyly in January for outfielder Mallex Smith and two minor leaguers, and were expected to utilize the lefty as a core member of their rotation in 2017. Now he’s going to miss all of this season and, given that he’s on a one-year deal, will be released by the team at the end of the season. Odds are that he’ll be unable to pitch for most of 2018.

Tough break.

Miguel Montero to be designated for assignment

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A play in three acts:

I.

Miguel Montero talks smack about his teammate

II.

A team leader talks smack about Miguel Montero

III.

The Cubs get rid of Miguel Montero:

This is rather surprising. As I said in the last post, I figured he’d apologize today and it’d all be in the past. Guess not. Even more surprising: we learned earlier this week that the key to good clubhouse chemistry is having a teammate everyone hates. Guess that only works for the Giants.

Montero is making $14 million this season, so the Cubs are definitely eating some money to make a headache go away. They’re also losing some offensive production, as Montero has hit a nice .286/.366/.439 on the season. His terrible defense against opposing baserunners mitigates that, of course. And the whole “pissing off everyone in the clubhouse” thing isn’t exactly working out for him either, so here we are.

Oh well, have a good one, Miguel.