Video of the century: bummed Phillies fans react to Dan Uggla’s grand slam

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Hats off to ESPN for the camera work and Deadspin’s Tim Burke for the production values on this video of Phillies fans (a) taunting Dan Uggla; and then (b) watching his ninth inning grand slam go over the fence. In slow motion. Set to some twee folk-rock, Wes-Anderson-style.

Seriously, I want to marry this video. I want to take it with me for a long weekend to a B&B in New England and go antiquing with it. I want to sit down with this video and plan our lives together, name our future children and and then hold hands with it as we each sit in our own bathtubs like in the Cialis commercials.

This video + me = love.

For serious.

Padres sign Jordan Lyles

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The Padres announced on Sunday that the club signed pitcher Jordan Lyles to a one-year major league contract with a club option for 2019. According to Jon Heyman of FanRag Sports, Lyles will earn $750,000 in 2018. Pitcher Travis Wood was designated for assignment to create room on the 40-man roster for Lyles.

Lyles, 27, had miserable results between the Rockies and Padres last season, compiling an aggregate 7.75 ERA with a 55/22 K/BB ratio over 69 2/3 innings. While he specifically gave up 24 earned runs in 23 innings across five starts with the Padres, it was a small sample. A full season at the pitcher-friendly Petco Park, as opposed to Colorado’s Coors Field, might help revitalize his career.

Wood, 30, went to the Padres at the non-waiver trade deadline from the Royals this past season. Overall, the lefty posted an aggregate 6.80 ERA with a 65/45 K/BB ratio in 94 innings. He’ll earn $6.5 million this season and has an $8 million mutual option with a $1 million buyout for 2019. So, the Padres are just eating $7.5 million minus the league minimum, assuming Wood latches on elsewhere.