Jeffrey Loria wrote a book about how the Peanuts comic strip reflected American culture

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The kicker: he did so in 1968, and his takes on what Peanuts had to say about America are … rather unhinged. And totally square. And it’s gotta be the most bizarre thing any Major League Baseball owner has ever done.

Jeb Lund examines this book over at Deadspin today and it must be read to be believed. Both Lund’s review, and Loria’s book, actually. Here’s what he says about how the Peanuts gang celebrates holidays:

A milk chocolate bunny is certainly better than surviving on pot, LSD, and banana peels under palm trees to the tune of “Mellow Yellow.” The little folks will gladly hunt for Easter Eggs. Easter wasn’t meant to be a ten-day excursion into the psychedelic. It seems that some easter “trip-takers” need marijuana and sugar cubes to loosen them up for a little fun or to activate their imaginations. Not the hearty Peanuts crew.

He’s like Joe Friday on the late-60s version of “Dragnet.” I keep waiting for BlueBoy to appear.

Watch: Shohei Ohtani strikes out his first spring training batter

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Sure, spring training games don’t count toward anything “real,” but that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy Angels’ star pitcher/hitter Shohei Ohtani mowing down his first big league competitors.

On Saturday, Ohtani took the mound against the Brewers for his first official outing in an Angels uniform. After allowing a leadoff double to Jonathan Villar, the 23-year-old righty settled down and issued a three-pitch strikeout to Nate Orf, his first of the spring.

It wasn’t the cleanest inning for the right-hander: the Brewers plated their first run on a walk, wild pitch and subsequent throwing error by catcher Martin Maldonado. Ohtani didn’t let things unravel further, however, and induced a pop-up for the second out before catching Brett Phillips looking on a called strike three to end the inning.

While the two-way phenom only lasted another two batters (a Keon Broxton dinger finished him off in the second), he’s already started to look like a formidable presence on the mound. Time will tell whether he can deliver at the plate as well — rumor has it he could feature in the Angels’ lineup as soon as Monday.