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Great. I got traded to the Phillies. Even though I was in the Best Shape of My Life.

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Schroeder: What do you mean Craig Calcaterra wasn’t so great? 

Lucy: He never got his picture on bubblegum cards, did he? Have you ever seen his picture on a bubblegum card? Hmmm? How can you say someone is great who’s never had his picture on bubblegum cards? 

Schroeder: Good grief. 

Take that, Lucy:

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This awesomeness comes from my friend and longtime HBT (and ShysterBall) reader Levi Stahl and his wife Stacey Shintani. They are throwing an Opening Day party on March 22 and made these things up as invitations. Stacey, my sources tell me, did the design and photo work while Levi was responsible for the somewhat offensive editorial content on the back of the card. Also: there was a stick of gum in the pack. UPDATE: I wasn’t aware of this when I first posted, but I believe the cards were made with the totally awesome Rookies App, which I can’t imagine not having before now.

And it’s also worth noting that Levi’s reference to Operation Shutdown on the back is apropos. If I got traded to the Phillies, it’d definitely be time for Operation Shutdown. I do NOT compete with Cody Asche for playing time, Jack. Especially if it means playing in freakin’ Philly.

Report: Dodgers placed Yasiel Puig on trade waivers

PHOENIX, AZ - JULY 17:  Yasiel Puig #66 of the Los Angeles Dodgers reacts after a strike out against the Arizona Diamondbacks during the ninth inning of the MLB game at Chase Field on August 17, 2016 in Phoenix, Arizona.  (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)
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Ken Rosenthal of FOX Sports reports that the Dodgers placed outfielder Yasiel Puig on trade waivers on Sunday. Wednesday, August 31 is the final day for teams to acquire players via waivers and make their new player(s) eligible for inclusion on the postseason roster.

Puig, 25, has had a tumultuous season with the Dodgers. He’s hit a meager .260/.320/.386 with seven home runs and 34 RBI over 303 plate appearances and has spent most of the month with Triple-A Oklahoma City. Shortly after being sent to the minors, Puig celebrated a victory with his teammates which included some lascivious language, and Puig broadcast it on Snapchat, which the Dodgers did not particularly enjoy. Since then, the club has been “trying to give away Puig.”

Puig is under contract through 2018. After earning the remainder of his $5.5 million salary this season, he’ll earn $6.5 million in ’17 and $7.5 million in ’18.

Sanchez hits another home run, Yankees rout Orioles 13-5

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NEW YORK (AP) Rookie Gary Sanchez kept up a most remarkable run, homering for the third straight game as the New York Yankees routed the Baltimore Orioles 13-5 Saturday.

Sanchez hit a drive that bounced off the top of the right-center field wall and over in the fourth inning. He reached 11 career home runs faster than anyone in major league history – 23 games, including two hitless games last year.

After the switch-hitting catcher connected, the crowd of 38,843 emphatically chanted his name. Mark Teixeira stepped out of the batter’s box, pausing the game and allowing the 23-year-old to tip his batting helmet to the fans from the top of the dugout steps.

Starlin Castro and Aaron Hicks also homered as the Yankees won their fourth in a row. A day after trouncing the Orioles 14-4, New York moved within 2 1/2 games of them for the second AL wild-card spot.

Chris Davis homered twice and Mark Trumbo hit his big league-leading 39th home run for Baltimore, which has dropped three straight.

Sanchez is now hitting .400 with 21 RBIs in 21 games this year.

Castro had four hits and drove in three runs, Hicks also drove in three runs and Brian McCann got three hits and drove in two.

Every Yankees starter has gotten a hit in back-to-back games for the first time since July 26-27, 2009.

Tommy Layne (1-1) pitched a scoreless inning for the win.

Dylan Bundy (7-5) gave up five runs in four innings.

The Yankees got 18 hits and drew seven walks. For all that offensive output, it was a disputed play on the bases that put them ahead.

Baltimore led 2-1 in the third when with two outs, singles by Teixeira, Didi Gregorius and Castro brought home the tying run.

With runners at the corners, Castro broke for second. Catcher Matt Wieters‘ throw was then cut off by shortstop J.J. Hardy as Gregorius tried to steal home.

Hardy’s throw appeared to be in time, but Gregorius neatly tucked in his right arm and extended his left arm across home plate.

Umpire Ron Kulpa called Gregorius out, but the Yankees challenged and the ruling was overturned. After the review, McCann hit an RBI double for a 4-2 lead.

TRAINER’S ROOM

Yankees: McCann returned to the starting lineup after being away following the death of his grandmother.

Orioles: CF Adam Jones was held out of the lineup after aggravating his hamstring injury on Friday. He tried to talk his way into starting, manager Buck Showalter said.

UP NEXT

Orioles: RHP Kevin Gausman (5-10, 3.92 ERA) is set to make his fourth start this season against the Yankees. He’s 0-1 in the previous three outings despite a 1.31 ERA.

Yankees: LHP CC Sabathia (8-10, 4.33) was originally scheduled to pitch Monday in Kansas City. But manager Joe Girardi made a switch, starting Sabathia instead of RHP Michael Pineda. Manager Joe Girardi cited Baltimore’s better numbers against right-handed pitching and the Royals’ success vs. lefties.