Yo dawg, I heard you liked to compensate, so we gave you a big giant truck with two levels of running boards and a big neon sign that says “I’m compensating for something” on the side. Except the sign is on back order and won’t be in until next week!
I’m not reflexively anti-truck or SUV. They have their uses. People who have to haul things or drive through snow or rough terrain. People with big families. Heck, I understand even if it’s just a matter of you wanting to sit up high and feel like a big guy once in a while. It’s bad for gas, but there are way worse offenses against humanity than that. Live and let live.
But seriously, what kind of a person other than a total jackwagon drives a truck like this? The guy works in Florida, hauls a bag with a mitt in it at most and probably drives there by himself. Go get something more modest, Grant. Like an EM-50 Urban Assault Vehicle.
This is happening, people.
Earlier we heard Joe Maddon being non-committal about Kyle Schwarber joining the Cubs for the World Series. Now it seems pretty clear that the Cubs are committal indeed: Jon Morosi reports that Schwarber is en route to Cleveland from Arizona on a private jet and that he’s expected to DH in Game 1 tomorrow night.
Schwarber hasn’t played in a game that counted since April 7. His potent bat is could be a windfall for a Cubs team that didn’t have a game-changing option at DH in the American League park.
Schwarber lost the whole season due to a knee injury, but he hit .246/.355/.487 with 16 homers and 43 RBI in 69 games as a rookie in 2015. His big coming out party was in the playoffs, however, when he hit three homers in five postseason games while going 7-for-13 with two walks in five games.
Paul Hoynes of the Cleveland Plain Dealer reports that Indians First Baseman/DH Carlos Santana shagged some flyballs in left field during the Indians’ workout today.
Sure, why not? Santana has played one game in the outfield in his major league career and that was over four years ago, but the Indians will have to play in Chicago without the DH, meaning either losing Santana’s bat or that of Mike Napoli.
It would be up to Terry Francona to decide if that happens, but ultimately I don’t think he’ll make it real and, rather, will just forget about it, because Santana’s defense out there would in no way be smooth.
I’m sorry. I’m sick today and I’m on a lot of cold medicine.