Obama compares the Farm Bill to Mike Trout

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President Obama was in Michigan today to sign the Farm Bill. I feel like he was trolling Miguel Cabrera truthers up there when he chose to compare it to baseball’s actual best player:

The president likened the nearly $1 trillion bill to a Swiss Army Knife for its many policy implications — on agriculture, on public food programs, on the environment and beyond.

“It’s like Mike Trout — for those of you who like baseball,” he added, likening it to the multi-talented Angels outfielder who fell short in 2012’s MVP race against Tigers slugger Miguel Cabrera.

Nah, Mike Trout is way better than the Farm Bill. He’d never cut food stamps by $8 billion …

A source in the White House shot me some early drafts of his speech:

  • “The Farm Bill is a lot like Joba Chamberlain: expensive, bloated and only relevant to Nebraskans”
  • “The Farm Bill is a lot like Miguel Cabrera: It’s feared, will break down when you need it most, but has gaudy numbers so everyone loves it.”
  • “The Farm Bill is like Derek Bell. If you don’t fully fund it, it will lead to a shutdown.”

Some additional drafts:

 

We could probably do this all day.

(thanks Reid Epstein for the heads up)

Dodgers top Giants, clinch fifth straight NL West title

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The Dodgers are NL West champions for the fifth time in a row. They clinched with a 4-2 win over the Giants on Friday night, taking their first and only lead on a mammoth record-breaking home run from Cody Bellinger in the third inning.

Rich Hill turned in another quality start, going six innings with five hits, a run and nine strikeouts to keep the Giants at bay. He tacked on an RBI hit of his own, too, lashing a double to left field for his first extra-base hit since 2007.

The Giants, meanwhile, deployed Jeff Samardzija and his 4.42 ERA for 4 1/3 innings. Samardzija was on the hook for the Dodgers’ four-run spread in the third and took his 15th loss of the season. Pablo Sandoval came through with a solo home run in the ninth, but the rest of San Francisco’s offense wasn’t so lucky against Kenley Jansen, who struck out the side to clinch the game — and the division.

After Friday’s showstopper, the Dodgers are just two wins away from their first 100-win season since 1974. If they win the remaining eight games of the season, they’ll beat out the 1953 Brooklyn Dodgers for the most wins in franchise history.

Watch: Cody Bellinger breaks NL rookie home run record

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Cody Bellinger helped the Dodgers to their first lead on Friday night, going deep for his 39th home run of the season and setting a new National League rookie home run record in the process. With two on and two out in the third inning, the Dodgers’ slugger launched a 2-1 pitch from the Giants’ Jeff Samardzija, skimming the right field fence to give the team a three-run cushion:

The three-run bomb was Bellinger’s sixth of the season. In what is undoubtedly a Rookie of the Year award-worthy campaign, he’s logged 21 solo shots, 11 two-run blasts and a single grand slam. His historic home run topped former NL rookie leaders Frank Robinson and Wally Berger, at 38 homers apiece.

The Dodgers need to stay on top of the Giants to clinch the NL West or, barring that, have the Marlins pull off a win over the Diamondbacks. They currently lead the Giants 4-1 in the bottom of the fifth inning. The Marlins, meanwhile, are staying just ahead of the D-backs with a 9-7 lead in the top of the sixth.