Obama compares the Farm Bill to Mike Trout

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President Obama was in Michigan today to sign the Farm Bill. I feel like he was trolling Miguel Cabrera truthers up there when he chose to compare it to baseball’s actual best player:

The president likened the nearly $1 trillion bill to a Swiss Army Knife for its many policy implications — on agriculture, on public food programs, on the environment and beyond.

“It’s like Mike Trout — for those of you who like baseball,” he added, likening it to the multi-talented Angels outfielder who fell short in 2012’s MVP race against Tigers slugger Miguel Cabrera.

Nah, Mike Trout is way better than the Farm Bill. He’d never cut food stamps by $8 billion …

A source in the White House shot me some early drafts of his speech:

  • “The Farm Bill is a lot like Joba Chamberlain: expensive, bloated and only relevant to Nebraskans”
  • “The Farm Bill is a lot like Miguel Cabrera: It’s feared, will break down when you need it most, but has gaudy numbers so everyone loves it.”
  • “The Farm Bill is like Derek Bell. If you don’t fully fund it, it will lead to a shutdown.”

Some additional drafts:

 

We could probably do this all day.

(thanks Reid Epstein for the heads up)

Clayton Kershaw struggles with control, walks six Marlins

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Dodgers ace Clayton Kershaw entered Wednesday night’s start against the Marlins without having issued a walk in his previous three starts. In fact, his last walk came on April 3 when he issued a free pass to Paul Goldschmidt with the bases empty and two outs in the bottom of the first inning. All told, Kershaw was on a streak of 26 walk-less innings before he took the mound at home to take on the Marlins.

Kershaw started off Wednesday in character, striking out the side in the first inning. He issued a walk in a tough second inning, but escaped without allowing a run. Kershaw walked two more in the third and again danced out of danger. In the fourth, Kershaw walked Lewis Brinson to load the bases with no outs and — you guessed it — didn’t end up allowing a run. His errant control finally came back to bite him in the fifth when Kershaw issued back-to-back two-out walks, then served up a three-run home run to Miguel Rojas down the left field line. His night was done when he completed the inning. Five innings, three runs, five hits, six walks, seven strikeouts, 112 pitches.

The six walks Kershaw issued over five innings marked his first six-walk outing since April 7, 2010 when he issued six free passes to the Pirates in 4 2/3 innings. The only other time he walked as many was on August 3, 2009 against the Brewers in a four-plus inning outing. Kershaw hasn’t even walked five batters in an outing recently — the last time was September 23, 2012 against the Reds.