President Obama was in Michigan today to sign the Farm Bill. I feel like he was trolling Miguel Cabrera truthers up there when he chose to compare it to baseball’s actual best player:
The president likened the nearly $1 trillion bill to a Swiss Army Knife for its many policy implications — on agriculture, on public food programs, on the environment and beyond.
“It’s like Mike Trout — for those of you who like baseball,” he added, likening it to the multi-talented Angels outfielder who fell short in 2012’s MVP race against Tigers slugger Miguel Cabrera.
Nah, Mike Trout is way better than the Farm Bill. He’d never cut food stamps by $8 billion …
A source in the White House shot me some early drafts of his speech:
- “The Farm Bill is a lot like Joba Chamberlain: expensive, bloated and only relevant to Nebraskans”
- “The Farm Bill is a lot like Miguel Cabrera: It’s feared, will break down when you need it most, but has gaudy numbers so everyone loves it.”
- “The Farm Bill is like Derek Bell. If you don’t fully fund it, it will lead to a shutdown.”
Some additional drafts:
@craigcalcaterra “The Farm Bill is like Ryan Braun. It’s all about artificial enhancements, and midwesterners are big fans.”
— The Dangerous Mabry (@DangerousMabry) February 7, 2014
@craigcalcaterra The Farm Bill is like Jose Valverde. It is big an no one really understands it.
— PҢЇL CФКЗ’S ЬЯДIИ (@PhilCokesBrain) February 7, 2014
We could probably do this all day.
(thanks Reid Epstein for the heads up)