Shelby Miller AP

Wanna hear about Shelby Miller’s wedding?

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Hey, there’s nothing going on in the baseball world right now, so why the heck not?

Cardinals right-hander Shelby Miller wed his girlfriend of two years, Amy Peters, earlier this month in Missouri. And the wedding got a rather lengthy (around 1,400 words, actually) write-up in the New York Times.

As you’ll see in a little snippet below, it has all the trappings of your typical New York Times wedding announcement:

For the last two and a half years, Ms. Peters, 22, has been Mr. Miller’s most loyal cheerleader. They met in June 2011, when he began playing for the Springfield Cardinals, a minor league team; Ms. Peters was a member of its cheering squad. “We had to sign a piece of paper telling us we could not socialize with the players,” she said. “I’ve always been really bad at following rules.”

Their love story began like that of many couples barely out of their teens: physical attraction, similar personalities and a lot of chemistry. But they would soon test whether their bond was strong enough to survive the world of professional baseball.

“I had noticed immediately that Amy was beautiful,” Mr. Miller said, and he was drawn to her lively and outgoing personality. He wasted no time in calling her — despite the fact that he had recently started casually dating someone else.

There’s a lot more where that came from. A lot. Basically, get ready to learn more about Miller than you ever cared to know.

If anything, Miller managed to use the announcement as a dig at the Cardinals for not using him during the playoffs. So in that case, well done. Congratulations to the new couple.

Josh Johnson retires from baseball

PEORIA, AZ - FEBRUARY 21: Josh Johnson #55 of the San Diego Padres poses during Picture Day on February 21, 2014 at the Peoria Sports Complex in Peoria, Arizona. (Photo by Mike McGinnis/Getty Images)
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Oft-injured pitcher Josh Johnson is retiring from baseball, ESPN’s Jerry Crasnick is reporting.

Johnson, 32, hasn’t pitched in the majors since 2013. The right-hander underwent his third Tommy John surgery in September 2015 but wasn’t able to bounce back.

Johnson spent most of his career with the Marlins, but also pitched for the Blue Jays in the big leagues, as well as the Padres in the minors. He retires with a career 3.40 ERA, 915 strikeouts across 998 innings in the majors, and two All-Star nominations. Johnson led the National League with a 2.30 ERA in 2010, finishing fifth in NL Cy Young Award balloting. One wonders what he could have accomplished if he was able to stay healthy.

Report: Angels close to a multi-year deal with Luis Valbuena

HOUSTON, TX - JULY 08:  Luis Valbuena #18 of the Houston Astros hits a three run walkoff home run in the ninth inning to defeat the Oakland Athletics 10-9 at Minute Maid Park on July 8, 2016 in Houston, Texas.  (Photo by Bob Levey/Getty Images)
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The Angels are nearing a multi-year deal with free agent third baseman Luis Valbuena, Jeff Fletcher of the Orange County Register reports. It’s believed to be a two-year contract with a third-year option.

Valbuena, 31, hit .260/.357/.459 with 13 home runs and 40 RBI in 342 plate appearances in 2016. He missed most of the second half with a hamstring injury, for which he underwent surgery in late August.

Valbuena has played a majority of his career at third base, but also has extensive experience at second base and has racked up innings at first base and shortstop as well. He won’t play every day for the Angels, as Yunel Escobar lays claim to third base and C.J. Cron first base, but he will give them flexibility and a left-handed bat off the bench.