What a Braves fan tweets at 4AM when his team faces elimination

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I have a cold and feel like crap and last night’s Braves-Dodgers game was not exactly a big bowl of chicken soup on top of it. So it’s probably not surprising that I went to bed somewhat grumpy, resigned to the fact that Freddy Garcia is all that stands in between the present and the Braves’ elimination. And of course, this wasn’t a recipe for a good night’s sleep, so I was up at 3:53 AM. Here’s what happens on Twitter at that hour when you find yourself in my frame a mind with some cold medicine added on top:

 

Hark! An actual major league baseball player is up too and tries to help:

 

It’s not nothing I guess. Though I’d probably feel better if the best of his playoff performances hadn’t been pre-9/11, but you do what you can. What else do people got?

Again: true. Though how much weird stuff can really happen when, even if Freddy comes through, you gotta find a way to win again on Wednesday. That really sends the mind reeling:

 

“If I could free my hands,” he thought, “I might throw off the noose and spring into the stream. By diving I could evade the bullets and, swimming vigorously, reach the bank, take to the woods and get away home. My home, thank God, is as yet outside their lines; my wife and little ones are still beyond the invader’s farthest advance.”

Except Clayton Kershaw will be standing there in a Union uniform ready to snap you, the noose and your neck back to reality. Sigh.

Cast about for hope again. Let’s see if Freddy Garcia has anything that can help me out:

“I don’t panic. I just make pitch.” — Freddy Garcia.

Huh. That’s actually a little comforting in some twisted way. I mean, sure, it doesn’t make Freddy Garcia anything more than he is, but it woulda been nice if Julio Teheran had that kind of equanimity about him last night, no?  Yeah, I can sort of get behind Garcia’s groove here:

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Playoff baseball, man. It’ll make you believe anything and reach for anything in desperation.

And even if my boys go down in flames tonight, I wouldn’t change a thing about how the playoffs roll.

Imagining Theo Epstein in politics

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“When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer.”

Or: “When Theo Epstein won World Series championships with the two most championship-starved franchises in baseball history, he got bored, and decided to run for the Senate or something.”

That latter bit is the premise of a Politico piece speculating that the Cubs president could go into politics one day. The story features an interview with former Obama chief strategist David Axlerod, who thinks Theo has what it takes. Mostly what he has is fame, popularity, good looks and money. No idea what his positions on issue are, but that other stuff goes a long way in politics these days.

Bonus: given what we just elected last fall, a guy who once had a little temper tantrum and dressed up in a gorilla suit is just as viable a candidate as anyone.

Another interestingly named player is promoted by the Pirates

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When you promote a player from the minors, the first and foremost consideration is whether or not he can help your ball club. But, assuming that’s taken care of, teams should really, really make it a priority to call up dudes with cool sounding names because it makes life more interesting for the rest of us.

The Pirates are doing that. The other night Dovydas Neverauskas made his big league debut. In addition to being the first Lithuanian born-and-raised player in major league history, it’s a solid, solid name. Now the Pirates are making another promotion: Gift Ngoepe.

Yep, Gift Ngoepe. He’s an infielder from South Africa, making the leap to the bigs due to David Freese‘s hamstring injury. Ngoepe, 27, was batting just .241/.308/.379 through 66 plate appearances this season with Triple-A Indianapolis, his ninth in the minors, so he’s not exactly a prospect. But man, that’s a killer name.

It’s also worth mentioning that Gift and Neverauskas were arrested together in a bar fight last August in Toledo, so there is already a good basis for some bonding here.

Good luck, Gift. Gift Ngoepe. Mr. Ngoepe. G-Ngo. Man, I could do this all day.