A small request, Pirates. Just a small one.

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Pirates: you know I got your back. You know that, like everyone else who isn’t a Cardinals fan, I’m rooting for you to beat the Cardinals. I think the odds are long that you will, but I’d love to see it.  But we do have a problem.

You gotta cut this out:

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The black solids are for spring training and batting practice. Not for a team that wants to look like it belongs. You look good in white. You look good in gray. You look extra-good in those sweet 70s throwbacks you wear on Sundays. But his black top with white/gray pants thing is an abomination.

And don’t get too smug, you other teams. The same goes for every one of you wearing these solid jerseys as opposed to white and gray. Braves blue, Rays blue, forget it. I suppose the A’s can wear their gold because the A’s have always been like that weird sibling you simply can’t reason with so we’ve stopped trying, but the rest of you need to cut it out.

It’s the playoffs. It’s the fancy dinner of the baseball season. Try to look your best. Right now you look like the USFL or something.

And yes, get off my lawn.

Yankees GM Brian Cashman not considering demoting struggling Greg Bird

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Yankees first baseman Greg Bird gave his team tons of confidence to hand him the everyday job at first base to start the 2017 regular season, batting .451/.556/1.098 with eight home runs in 51 spring at-bats. But he’s followed that up by hitting .107/.254/.214 through the first month of the regular season.

GM Brian Cashman doesn’t have any intent to demote Bird back to Triple-A Scranton/Wilkes-Barre, MLB.com’s Bryan Hoch reports. Cashman said, “It’s not even an option for me in my mind right now, at all.”

Bird didn’t start Sunday’s game against the Orioles, a 7-4 loss in 11 innings. Lefty Wade Miley started for the Orioles, prompting manager Joe Girardi to put Chris Carter into the lineup at first base. If Bird isn’t able to figure things out, Carter might have an increased role on the team.

Chris Archer threw behind Jose Bautista

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Rays starter Chris Archer threw his first pitch to Blue Jays outfielder Jose Bautista behind the slugger’s back with one out in the first inning of Sunday afternoon’s game in Toronto. Bautista and Archer then had a staredown. Home plate umpire Jim Wolf issued warnings to both teams. Bautista ultimately flied out to right field and he appeared to have a quick word with Archer on his way back to the dugout.

Archer could have been exacting revenge — euphemistically known as “protecting his teammate” — because Jays reliever Joe Biagini hit Rays outfielder Steven Souza in the seventh inning of Saturday’s game. Souza was forced to leave the game and underwent an X-ray, which came back negative. He was held out of Sunday’s lineup. Biagini’s pitch did not appear to be intentional.

The Jays won Sunday’s contest 3-1 with no further incident. The two clubs meet again in Tampa for a three-game series starting on May 5, so we’ll see if Sunday was the last of the bad blood between them.