Sammy Sosa appears to be going full Michael Jackson on us

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This is … unsettling.

 

In case you forgot, Sosa once looked like this:

source:

 

This does sort of make me feel better about something, though.  I’ve told this story before, but I’ll tell it again. It’s about how I once thought people routinely got race-change surgery.

Now, in my defense, I was very, very young, but it went down like this: one day, when I was very young, I was trading baseball cards with a friend and a George Scott card was sitting on top of a Graig Nettles card and I matched the wrong name with the wrong picture. So, in my mind, I assumed that Graig Nettles was black (I really only listened to games on the radio then).

Flash forward to the 1981 World Series. Nettles made a play at third base and the camera pulled in on a closeup. I was shocked to see this white man and I told my dad, who was sitting nearby, of my confusion. He told me that Nettles “used to be black” until he “had the surgery.” I had no idea that he was pulling my chain and continued to believe that people had race-change surgery for a good while after that. Eventually I said something about that in front of my dad and he was flabbergasted, remembered his weird joke and set me straight.

But now Sosa is apparently doing it, so vindication for dumbass eight year-old me.

Phillies, Jake Arrieta having a “dialogue”

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No, not like a Socratic dialogue, in which each side, in a mostly cooperative, but intellectually confrontational manner interrogate one another as a means of testing assertions and finding truths, though that would be an AMAZING thing for baseball players and teams to do. Rather, low-level talks about possible interest in Jake Arrieta, baseball free agent.

Arrieta is probably the top free agent still available, now that Yu Darvish, J.D. Martinez and Eric Hosmer have signed. Philly has money — it’s a big market — and could use a pitcher, but Jon Heyman, who, much like Plato did for Socrates, reported the dialogue, says they’re not looking to go long term with anyone.

It may make sense for Arrieta to take a so-called “pillow contract” and come back on the market in a year, but if he’s willing to accept a one-year deal, there are a lot of teams other than Philly who may offer one, and you’d have to figure Arrieta would prefer to pitch for a team more likely to contend.

Dialogues are cool, though. You should go have one over lunch.