Cataloging the music which is haphazardly barfed out of the loudspeakers at ballgames

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Let’s talk about music and other pumped-in sounds at the ballpark.

I don’t have anything against walkup music or some well thought out musical interludes here or there, be they organ or pumped in rock or whatever. But the level of sound saturation we have these days — not to mention its scattershot nature — is really frustrating. Wall-to-wall music is bad enough, but it often makes no sense even if you accept its presence. The “charge” organ when nothing particularly interesting is happening. The “everybody clap your hands!” thing. “Day-O!” Those opening claps to “Car Wash” or whatever it is is simply pointless. It doesn’t comment on or enhance or often even match what’s going on on the field.  It’s the equivalent of some dumb conversation people have when they can’t bear even a momentary silence.

Larry Granillo of Baseball Nation has noticed this too and he did something I’ve thought to do in the past but never had the drive to actually accomplish: he made a note of every single musical cue that blared out of the loudspeakers at a major league game.

His game was Monday’s Pirates-Brewers game and the results are pretty startling:

Of the 271 pitches thrown on Monday, 119 had some sort of musical cue afterwards. If we count the walk-up music for each of the Brewers’ plate appearances, that brings the total to 152, or 56 percent of the game’s pitches punctuated by music in some way. This does not include the extended musical selections heard during nearly every inning break.

He catalogs each and every song in a separate appendix, showing what was played batter-by-batter. Reading that appendix is telling of that stuff I talk about above. The lack of a plan with music. It’s just belched out there for no reason so often.

While I think baseball would be fine without musical accompaniment, music can be just as good and entertaining a part of a viewing experience as the event itself. Think movie soundtracks and scores and the like.  Why baseball, if it insists on pumping in so much music, seems content to treat it as some moronic afterthought is beyond me.

The Braves will be serving some insane food this season

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Lots of teams have crazy concession items and lots of them will circulate photos of the more gonzo ones in the coming week leading up to the baseball season. The Braves, however, have been one of the more aggressive players in the gimmick concession item game in recent years, and they just sent around a release talking about some of the stuff they, and their concessionaire, Delaware North, will be serving at their new ballpark, Sun Trust Park, in 2017.

Among them:a blackened catfish po boy, which is a blackened 6-ounce filet of catfish cut up among three tacos, with a cajun remoulade. Some BBQ beef brisket sliders. A double burger. An ice cream bar. They’re also going to have a regionally-inspired thing called “The Taste of Braves Country,” showcasing southern cooking from Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Tennessee, Mississippi and Alabama. Which they’re calling “Braves Country.” Accurate enough, I guess, even if some of us are old enough to remember when they aspired to be a national team. Alas.

The big item, though, is this one:

It’s called the “Tomahawk Chop” sandwich. It’s a fried pork chop with collard green slaw and white BBQ sauce. It serves four and costs $26. I’m guessing it tastes fantastic, but I think the name is pretty cringeworthy for the same reason the cheer which gives it its name is. And, given the dynamics of the Braves move to their new stadium, the choice of BBQ sauce is . . . amusing? I dunno.

Anyway, enjoy, Braves fans.

Max Scherzer will not be ready for Opening Day

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Ten days ago Nationals ace Max Scherzer said he’d be ready for the start of the regular season. “I’m gonna do it,” Scherzer said.

[Ron Howard from “Arrested Development” voice] — No, he’s not:

Nationals manager Dusty Baker said that Max Scherzer is not on track to be the team’s opening day starter, and will most likely open the season as the third pitcher in the rotation.

He’s still projected to make it to the opening rotation, taking the hill, most likely, on Thursday April 6 against the Marlins. At least if the schedule doesn’t slip any more.

Scherzer, as you probably know, has a stress fracture in the knuckle of his right ring finger, which has messed with his preparation and has caused him to alter his grip a bit. As of now Stephen Strasburg will get the Opening Day nod.