Several Biogenesis players are stunningly equally ashamed of themselves

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Here are the official press releases from seven of today’s 13 suspended Biogenesis players. These are words coming straight from the heart, let me tell you.

Antonio Bastardo:

Today, I was notified by Major League Baseball that I have been suspended for 50 games for violation of the Joint Drug Agreement. I have decided to accept this suspension and will not exercise my rights under the Basic Agreement to appeal. I made significant errors in judgment during the 2012 season and I accept full responsibility for those errors. I look forward to regaining the trust and respect of the Phillies’ organization, Phillies’ fans and my family, and look forward to helping the Phillies win a championship in 2014.

Fautino De Los Santos:

I was notified by Major League Baseball that I am to be suspended for 50 games for violation of the Joint Drug Agreement. I willingly accept this suspension and will not exercise my rights under the Basic Agreement to appeal. I made certain unsound decisions during the 2012 season and I accept full responsibility for those decisions. I look forward to regaining the trust and respect of the Padres’ organization, their fans and most importantly, my family. I look forward to helping the San Diego Padres in 2014.

Sergio Escalona:

I was notified by Major League Baseball that I have been suspended for 50 games for violation of the Joint Drug Agreement. I will accept this suspension and not exercise my right under the Basic Agreement to appeal. I made errors in judgment during the 2012 season and I accept full responsibility for those errors. I will make every attempt to regain the trust and respect of the Astros’ organization, their fans and most importantly, my family. I am hopeful that I can make significant contributions to the Astros in the 2014 season.

Fernando Martinez:

I have been notified by Major League Baseball that I am to be suspended for 50 games for violation of the Joint Drug Agreement. I accept this suspension and will not exercise my right under the Basic Agreement to appeal. I made a serious mistake during the 2012 season and I accept full responsibility for this mistake. I look forward to regaining the trust and respect of the Yankees’ organization, their fans and most importantly, my family. I am hopeful that I can make significant contributions to the Yankees in 2014.

Jesus Montero:

I have been notified by the Commissioner of Major League Baseball that I have been suspended for 50 games for violation of the Joint Drug Agreement. I have decided to accept this suspension and not exercise my rights under the Basic Agreement to appeal. I made certain mistakes during the 2012 season and I accept full responsibility for those mistakes. I look forward to regaining the trust and respect of the Mariners’ organization, Mariners’ fans and my family. I look forward to making significant contributions to the Mariners in 2014.

Cesar Puello:

Today, I was notified by the Commissioner of Major League Baseball that I have been suspended for 50 games for violation of the Joint Drug Agreement. Out of respect for the Mets’ organization, my teammates, and my family, I have decided to accept this suspension and not exercise my rights under the Basic Agreement to appeal. I made certain mistakes during the 2012 season and I accept full responsibility for those mistakes. I look forward to regaining the trust and respect of the Mets’ organization, Mets’ fans and my family, and ultimately helping the club win a championship.

Jordany Valdespin:

I have been notified by the Commissioner of Major League Baseball that I have been suspended for 50 games for violation of the Joint Drug Agreement. I have decided to accept this suspension and not exercise my rights under the Basic Agreement to appeal. I made certain errors in judgment during the 2012 season and I accept full responsibility for those errors. I look forward to regaining the trust and respect of the Mets’ organization, Mets’ fans and my family, and look forward to contributing to the Mets in 2014.

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Yes, you guessed it, all seven share the same lawyer.

Miguel Cabrera is being sued for reduced child support payments

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Tigers first baseman/DH Miguel Cabrera is being sued by a woman from Orlando, Florida who claims that he “unilaterally” reduced the amount of his monthly child support payments, Tony Paul of The Detroit News reports. Cabrera, who has three children with his wife Rosangel, also had two children with Belkies Mariela Rodriguez in 2013 and 2015.

Cabrera pays more than $6,200 per month in child support and helped Rodriguez purchase a nearly $1 million house. Rodriguez’s attorney calls Cabrera’s monthly payments “inadequate” because her children don’t quite have the same standard of living as Cabrera’s three children with Rosangel. Cabrera’s legal team accused Rodriguez of “embarking on a mission to extort additional moneys to be used for her benefit under the guise of child support.”

Cabrera, 34, signed an eight-year, $248 million contract extension with the Tigers in March 2014, which officially began in 2016. He made $22 million in 2014-15, $28 million in 2016-17, and will earn $30 million from 2018-21 and $32 million in 2022-23.

Along with reduced child support payments, Rodriguez alleges Cabrera left her “high and dry” when it came to monthly expenses with the house he helped her purchase.

Cabrera has requested that the judge recuse herself from his case, as her husband has a title with Rodriguez’s lawyers’ law firm following a merger. He is scheduled to be questioned under oath during a videotaped deposition on Thursday in Orlando. Rodriguez is scheduled for her deposition on Friday.

Cabrera is not the only player to find himself embroiled in such a case. Bartolo Colon was also sued for back child support for a “secret family” last year.