Francisco Rodriguez

A reminder: Francisco Rodriguez is a worse human being than Ryan Braun


If you’re an Orioles fan, feel free to root for the laundry. But let’s not celebrate Francisco Rodriguez.

K-Rod was initially arrested in Aug. 2010 after beating up the father of his girlfriend, Daian Pena. Rodriguez assaulted Carlos Pena at Citi Field after a game, punching him in the face. The incident actually left Rodriguez with torn ligaments in his pitching hand, forcing him to miss the rest of the season. The Mets took the incident very seriously, suspending him for two days. Rodriguez later pleaded guilty to assault charges and was sentenced to undergo 52 weeks of anger management. He was also barred from contacting his now ex-girlfriend, and mother of his twins, for two years.

If that was the end of K-Rod’s story, it might be worth forgiving him. However, he was arrested again last September in Wisconsin after he allegedly beat up a new girlfriend (and, again, the mother of his child). Those charges had to be dropped, mostly because the girlfriend and their housekeeper, an eyewitness, both departed for Rodriguez’s native Venezuela before the trial was scheduled to begin and never returned.

According to the prosecutor in the original case, there were also earlier incidents involving Pena, including one that led to her hospitalization in Venezuela.

So, yeah, Rodriguez is a quality reliever and he should fit nicely into a setup role in the Baltimore pen. The Orioles are a better team with him. As a person, though, he’s more worthy of scorn than any steroids user.

Curt Schilling is already getting clobbered by Elizabeth Warren in the 2018 senate race

NEW YORK, NY - APRIL 27:  Former ESPN Analyst Curt Schilling talks about his ESPN dismissal and politics during SiriusXM's Breitbart News Patriot Forum hosted by Stephen K. Bannon and co-host Alex Marlow at the SiriusXM Studio on April 27, 2016 in New York, New York.  (Photo by Cindy Ord/Getty Images for SiriusXM)
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I realize it’s early. I realize that we have one big election coming up in less than two weeks and that 2018 may as well be 2218 as far as the election is concerned. But it’s probably worth mentioning that, at the moment, Curt Schilling isn’t doing too well in the Massachusetts Senate race.

To be fair, he hasn’t officially declared himself a candidate yet. He said he has to get the OK from his wife first. But as a famous Massachusetts resident, it’s not like he needs to spend a lot of time working on the stuff just-declared candidates do. He’s got name recognition bleeding out of his socks. Which makes this somewhat sobering:

It’s been many, many years since I worked on a political campaign, but I feel qualified to give Schilling some advice: more memes. Post as many political memes on Facebook as Twitter as you can. It doesn’t even matter if they’re true as long as they feel true to you. Right now the important thing is to mobilize the base.

Yep, fire everyone up. They’ll certainly flock to you then. Good luck, Curt.

Max Scherzer should clean is own dang house

LOS ANGELES, CA - OCTOBER 11:  Max Scherzer #31 of the Washington Nationals looks on against the Los Angeles Dodgers in the second inning during game four of the National League Division Series at Dodger Stadium on October 11, 2016 in Los Angeles, California.  (Photo by Harry How/Getty Images)
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I work from home, so I end up doing a lot more stuff around my house than the other three people who live here. I do all the laundry. I do most of the cooking. I’ve increasingly delegated chores to the kids, but they don’t do a great job of it and I end up going after them and doing it again. That’s probably a bad long term plan, really, for them and for me, but it’s just how it goes.

However that all cuts, the fact remains: if you leave your crap laying around, it’s going to get washed or tossed, depending on what it is. Don’t get all mad telling me that you were going to wear that shirt that’s currently in the washing machine. If it was clean, it shouldn’t have been wadded up on your floor. If other stuff gets put away or disposed of, well, tough. Your things have places, so put your things in their places.

I mention all of this simply to head off sympathy for Nationals starter Max Scherzer, who almost lost a precious keepsake:

You don’t want your second no-hitter shirt thrown out? Get it put up in a frame or whatever it is you want to do with it. You leave it wadded up someplace, don’t expect it to stay there forever.

Not you go sleep on the couch. Mrs. Scherzer doesn’t work hard all day to take guff from you.