When 99 percent is not 99 percent


I figure the Matt Garza-to-Texas trade is going to happen. There’s certainly been a lot of talk about it. But really, I don’t know. We’ll hear when we hear. But I can’t help but laugh when, twice a year — during hot stove time and now, just before the trade deadline — I am once again reminded how silly the business of reporting on trades and signings in.

The Matt Garza-to-Texas deal was reported yesterday to be “99 percent done.” Late last night, however, we get reports that the deal is breaking down. The snag: the teams can’t agree after discussing “varying packages for the 29-year-old starter.” Translation: Texas and Chicago can’t decide which players are going to be traded for Garza.

Now, call me crazy, but when half of the deal is not yet agreed to, calling the deal “99 percent done” seems a bit off. That’s like saying I’m 99 percent done with buying a car but that I just haven’t picked a car yet. It’s like saying I’m 99 percent married but I just can’t find the right woman. It really does take two to tango with these things.

I understand that trade rumors are weird things. People lie to reporters. Reporters misread information. Things change quite quickly. As such, it’s not at all reasonable to come down hard on guys who report things like deals being done 99 percent unless they are habitual offenders. I’ve been told myself that things are done-deals only to see them not done at all. Things happen and occasionally you look stupid through no fault of your own.

But it is something to remember between now and July 31. It’s worth reminding ourselves over and over that no deal is done until it is done. Before that, it’s all just chatter. Fun chatter, but chatter all the same.

The Milwaukee Brewers perform “The Sandlot”

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A lot of teams do funny promo videos during spring training. The Seattle Mariners have led the league in this category for years now, with their marketing and p.r. folks producing and a lot of game and sometimes hammy players starring in some excellent clips. They’re doing them again this year, if you’re curious.

The Milwaukee Brewers have hopped on the humor train in 2018, and their latest entry in this category of commercials is excellent. It’s their riff on “The Sandlot.”

The biggest difference: Smalls really could kill you in this one. Brett Phillips is a lot more jacked than the kid who played Scotty in the original was.

The Beast, however, is just as terrifying now as he was in 1993.