Great Moments in A-Rod Derangement Syndrome

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Are you or someone you know irrationally fixated on the moral, ethical and public relations transgressions of Alex Rodriguez? Do you believe that actions most people would consider to be mere silly nonsense constitute capital crimes? Do you consider one of those bad acts to be him not being Lou Gehrig? Do you believe Alex Rodriguez is the only party responsible for him getting multiple nine-figure contracts? Did you have some interns compile a list of every single bad thing Alex Rodriguez ever did so you could paste it into your column as if it were a formal indictment?

If so, you are likely suffering from A-Rod Derangement Syndrome. Like this poor subject, Wallace Matthews of ESPN New York:

The objectionable part is that A-Rod is trying to portray himself as fighting the good fight, a noble man attempting to triumph over an army of haters. That is hardly the case. Just about every bit of the imagined “adversity” Alex Rodriguez thinks he is confronting is of his own making . . . He is the one who chose to live a high-profile lifestyle, and then complained about all the media attention it draws, sort of like the kid who kills his own parents and then begs for leniency on the grounds he is an orphan …

. . . None of these things, with the exception of the drug allegations, is a capital offense in itself. But taken together, they paint a picture of a man living a life of singular privilege, without boundaries or respect for any authority other than his own. Again, not a crime in itself. But to live that life of privilege and wealth and try to portray it as the equivalent of working on a chain gang? That is an insult and an affront.

Two equivalencies between A-Rod and murderers. A quotation of the word “adversity” when the interview to which Matthews is referring contains no instance of A-Rod using the term at all and a reference to A-Rod claiming he’s a victim or a prisoner when he did no such thing. An “A-Rod is no Lou Gehrig” framing device.

These are the symptoms of A-Rod Derangement Syndrome. A disease which is not fatal but which can, if gone untreated, lead to hackery and related complications which can render your journalism career a joke.

Please, get help. Before it’s too late. Before you’re suffering like poor Wallace is.

Video: Jaime Garcia hits a 399-foot grand slam

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Jaime Garcia has been at the center of trade talks for several days now, but on Friday night, he commanded center stage for an entirely different reason. The Braves’ southpaw went head-to-head with Dodgers’ lefty Alex Wood and mashed his first career grand slam: a two-out, 399-foot blast that cleared the wall in right field and put the Braves up 9-0 in the fifth inning.

The bases-loaded knock was the third career home run for Garcia, whose contributions at the plate have been few and far between over his nine-year track in the major leagues. Not only did the homer mark an impressive career first for the 30-year-old, but it was just the second pitcher grand slam in Braves’ history and the first since 1966.

Garcia looked almost as impressive on the mound during Friday’s series opener, issuing one run, four hits and three strikeouts through his first six innings. The Braves currently lead the Dodgers 12-1 in the top of the seventh inning.

As for whether the slam will affect negotiations between the Braves and Twins? MLB.com’s Mike Petriello put it best:

Ryon Healy exits game after taking a ground ball to the face

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Athletics’ first baseman Ryon Healy had a scary moment during Friday’s loss to the Mets. Lucas Duda smacked a single to the first base side, where the ball took a high hop and caught Healy in the left temple. He crumpled to the ground after getting struck by the one-hopper, but was eventually able to stand and walk off the field with assistance from a trainer.

Prior to the injury, Healy went 2-for-3 at the plate with an RBI single in the first inning. He was replaced by Yonder Alonso, who finished off the rest of the night’s 7-5 loss with a walk in two plate appearances.

Following the game, manager Bob Melvin told reporters that Healy did not appear to have sustained a concussion as a result of the hit. Healy said he thinks he’ll be good to go for Saturday’s game, though a final decision likely won’t be made until tomorrow.