Great Moments in A-Rod Derangement Syndrome

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Are you or someone you know irrationally fixated on the moral, ethical and public relations transgressions of Alex Rodriguez? Do you believe that actions most people would consider to be mere silly nonsense constitute capital crimes? Do you consider one of those bad acts to be him not being Lou Gehrig? Do you believe Alex Rodriguez is the only party responsible for him getting multiple nine-figure contracts? Did you have some interns compile a list of every single bad thing Alex Rodriguez ever did so you could paste it into your column as if it were a formal indictment?

If so, you are likely suffering from A-Rod Derangement Syndrome. Like this poor subject, Wallace Matthews of ESPN New York:

The objectionable part is that A-Rod is trying to portray himself as fighting the good fight, a noble man attempting to triumph over an army of haters. That is hardly the case. Just about every bit of the imagined “adversity” Alex Rodriguez thinks he is confronting is of his own making . . . He is the one who chose to live a high-profile lifestyle, and then complained about all the media attention it draws, sort of like the kid who kills his own parents and then begs for leniency on the grounds he is an orphan …

. . . None of these things, with the exception of the drug allegations, is a capital offense in itself. But taken together, they paint a picture of a man living a life of singular privilege, without boundaries or respect for any authority other than his own. Again, not a crime in itself. But to live that life of privilege and wealth and try to portray it as the equivalent of working on a chain gang? That is an insult and an affront.

Two equivalencies between A-Rod and murderers. A quotation of the word “adversity” when the interview to which Matthews is referring contains no instance of A-Rod using the term at all and a reference to A-Rod claiming he’s a victim or a prisoner when he did no such thing. An “A-Rod is no Lou Gehrig” framing device.

These are the symptoms of A-Rod Derangement Syndrome. A disease which is not fatal but which can, if gone untreated, lead to hackery and related complications which can render your journalism career a joke.

Please, get help. Before it’s too late. Before you’re suffering like poor Wallace is.

Yankees defeat Blue Jays to clinch postseason spot

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The Yankees guaranteed their place in the postseason with a 5-1 win over the Blue Jays on Saturday. Sonny Gray led the charge against their division rivals, clinching his 10th win of the season with six innings of four-hit, one-run, four-strikeout ball.

Gray worked into a little trouble in the first inning, putting runners in scoring position after Josh Donaldson drew a four-pitch walk and Justin Smoak advanced him with a single. The Yankees’ ace induced two quick outs to end the threat, but was overpowered by a Teoscar Hernandez home run in the third inning, the rookie’s fourth blast of the season:

Thankfully for the Yankees, that was the only run that slipped through the cracks. Gray finished the remainder of his outing with two hits and two walks and was backed by another three scoreless innings from the bullpen. Greg Bird supplied the go-ahead run with a three-RBI shot in the fifth inning, plating Chase Headley and Starlin Castro to give the Yankees their first lead of the night.

Todd Frazier tacked on another solo homer in the eighth, while Starlin Castro returned in the ninth to cap the win with an RBI single. Aroldis Chapman did the rest, wielding just 10 pitches to get three straight outs from Kendrys Morales, Kevin Pillar and Rob Refsnyder.

Following Saturday’s win, the Yankees have at least secured one wild card berth, though they’re not out of the division race just yet. They still sit a full four games back of first place in the AL East, with eight games left to play.

Brian Dozier pulls off bunt home run

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Brian Dozier had a bonafide Little League moment during Saturday’s contest against the Tigers. In the first inning, the Twins’ second baseman squared up a bunt against Detroit left-hander Matt Boyd, which was scooped by Jeimer Candelario halfway up the third base line. The throw to first skirted the bag, allowing Dozier to touch all the bases and slide home to score the Twins’ first run of the game.

In other words, it was just your run-of-the-mill bunt home run:

Officially, the play was scored as a single and run scored on a throwing error. Still, if this is a sampling of the kind of plays we can expect to see from the Twins this October, it’s shaping up to be one wacky postseason.