A Lehigh Valley IronPigs fan will win an all-expenses paid funeral

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In what is being described as the most valuable fan giveaway in team history, the Lehigh Valley IronPigs are going to give one lucky fan an all-expenses-paid funeral at their August 20th game. What you get, courtesy of the the IronPigs and a local funeral home:

  • A casket.
  • Professional services of funeral director and staff.
  • Body removal and preparation (embalming or cremation).
  • Use of facilities and services for viewing (visitation/wake), funeral ceremony, Memorial Service and graveside services.
  • Vehicle to transfer remains to Funeral Home along with Hearse for cemetery transfer.

A memorial company will provide a complimentary headstone and a florist will offer “a casket spray” of flowers, which is an odd way of putting that, but since I have never planned a funeral I guess that’s my problem.  The total value of all of that is said to be $10,000.

How do you win: essay contest! You submit an essay of 200 words or less that describes your “ideal funeral and why you feel you will, eventually, be deserving of the free funeral.” All essays must be received by July 31, 2013 — details at the linked release — and you have to be at the August 20th game to win.

My entry:

Dear IronPigs,

I feel like I deserve the funeral because it is long overdue. I have been dead since October 2011 and my corpse has been rotting in front of everyone for the past two years. It’s really embarrassing. Please allow my mortal remains to finally find a place of rest, preferably at the expense of the an affiliate of the Phillies organization for that is something to which I have become accustomed.

Regards,

Ryan Howard

Padres, Mariners join list of teams to extend netting

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The Reds announced earlier that they plan to extend the protective netting at Great American Ball Park in time for Opening Day next season. You can add the Padres and Mariners to what will surely be a growing list.

A young fan was struck in the face by a foul ball at Yankee Stadium on Wednesday, which gave new life to the netting debate. Some fans and media types think Major League Baseball is not doing enough to protect fans. While Major League Baseball has issued guidelines for protective netting, it is ultimately up to the teams to decide just how much netting to use.

Zach Britton receives stem cell injection, likely done for the season

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Orioles closer Zach Britton is likely done for the remainder of the 2017 season after receiving a stem cell injection in his left knee, Peter Schmuck and Jon Meoli of the Baltimore Sun report. Britton has been battling knee problems for most of the season.

The Orioles are still technically in the AL Wild Card race, entering play Thursday 5.5 games behind the Twins for the second Wild Card slot. With only nine games remaining, however, the 73-80 Orioles are likely being realistic about their chances and not taking any unnecessary risks with Britton.

Britton, 29, put up a 2.89 ERA with 15 saves and a 29/18 K/BB ratio in 37 1/3 innings this season. He will be eligible for arbitration for the fourth and final time this offseason.