A Lehigh Valley IronPigs fan will win an all-expenses paid funeral


In what is being described as the most valuable fan giveaway in team history, the Lehigh Valley IronPigs are going to give one lucky fan an all-expenses-paid funeral at their August 20th game. What you get, courtesy of the the IronPigs and a local funeral home:

  • A casket.
  • Professional services of funeral director and staff.
  • Body removal and preparation (embalming or cremation).
  • Use of facilities and services for viewing (visitation/wake), funeral ceremony, Memorial Service and graveside services.
  • Vehicle to transfer remains to Funeral Home along with Hearse for cemetery transfer.

A memorial company will provide a complimentary headstone and a florist will offer “a casket spray” of flowers, which is an odd way of putting that, but since I have never planned a funeral I guess that’s my problem.  The total value of all of that is said to be $10,000.

How do you win: essay contest! You submit an essay of 200 words or less that describes your “ideal funeral and why you feel you will, eventually, be deserving of the free funeral.” All essays must be received by July 31, 2013 — details at the linked release — and you have to be at the August 20th game to win.

My entry:

Dear IronPigs,

I feel like I deserve the funeral because it is long overdue. I have been dead since October 2011 and my corpse has been rotting in front of everyone for the past two years. It’s really embarrassing. Please allow my mortal remains to finally find a place of rest, preferably at the expense of the an affiliate of the Phillies organization for that is something to which I have become accustomed.


Ryan Howard

Jeff Samardzija to undergo MRI on right shoulder

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Update (12:58 AM ET): Per Henry Schulman of the San Francisco Chronicle, Samardzija has been diagnosed with a strained pectoral muscle. He’ll be shut down for a week. That’s good news for the Giants, considering the alternatives.


Giants starter Jeff Samardzija will undergo an MRI on his ailing right shoulder, according to NBC Sports Bay Area. The right-hander struggled in a minor league game on Wednesday, surrendering a pair of home runs and hitting a batter. Overall this spring, Samardzija has given up 15 runs (13 earned) on 17 hits (six homers) and seven walks with seven strikeouts in 11 innings.

This may mean Samardzija won’t be ready for the start of the regular season. Derek Holland would likely replace Samardzija in the rotation. Holland had been competing for the No. 5 spot in the Giants’ rotation.

Samardzija led the National League in losses last season with 15, also posting a 4.42 ERA with a 205/32 K/BB ratio in a league-high 207 2/3 innings. Since becoming a starter, Samardzija has been able to avoid injury, making 32 or 33 starts in each of the last five seasons.