Your obligatory “Derek Jeter would never do that” jive

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Was waiting for this. Bob Klapisch — a man who never disappoints when it comes to the A-Rod/Jeter silliness — weighs in on L’affaire STFU:

The fact alone that Rodriguez is on Twitter is irritating to the club. Put it this way: Derek Jeter would never end up on Twitter, talking about himself. The captain, in fact, is so self-contained he blew off Michael Kay’s request to spend an inning in the YES broadcast booth Sunday.

Jeter, who was at the Stadium over the weekend before returning to Tampa, politely told Kay the booth was for retired players only. It’s as if Jeter was saying: Real Yankees, at least the ones lucky enough to still be on the field, keep it to themselves.

Thought experiment: A-Rod blows off Michael Kay’s request and Jeter offers public statements about how he’s rip-roarin’ and ready to play baseball, even if the team hadn’t cleared him yet. What’s the reaction?

Why do I feel like, in that instance, A-Rod would still be the selfish villan and Jeter the uber-competitor?

Red Sox Triple-A team to ban people named Tyler and Austin from stadium on May 5 and 6 as part of promotion

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The Pawtucket Red Sox, obviously the Triple-A affiliate of the Red Sox, have come up with an interesting promotion for the weekend of May 5 and 6, when they host the Yankees’ Triple-A team from Scranton/Wilkes-Barre.

This, of course, references last week’s benches-clearing fracas between the Red Sox and Yankees that involved Joe Kelly and Tyler Austin. Kelly slid hard into second base, which upset Brock Holt. The benches emptied as the two jawed at each other, but no punches were thrown. Later in the game, Kelly threw at Austin and the benches emptied again. Punches were thrown this time and both players were given suspensions.

The major league Red Sox visit the Yankees May 8-10. As far as we’re aware, people named Joe or Kelly are allowed to attend.