I want all play-by-play commentary to be like this

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I have no idea where this comes from. I assume some British comedy show or something. All I know is that I would watch games with this guy doing the play-by-play before about two-thirds of actual current broadcast teams.

Rays acquire Peter Bourjos from the White Sox

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The Rays announced on Tuesday that the club acquired outfielder Peter Bourjos from the White Sox in exchange for a player to be named later or cash considerations.

As all three starting outfield jobs in Tampa Bay are spoken for, Bourjos is looking at a bench role to open the 2017 regular season. Last season with the Phillies, Bourjos hit .251/.292/.389 with 20 doubles, 23 RBI, and 40 runs scored in 383 plate appearances. The bat is still weak, but he also still plays solid defense and runs the bases well.

Reds claim Scooter Gennett off waivers from the Brewers

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The Reds claimed second baseman Scooter Gennett off waivers from the Brewers, C. Trent Rosecrans of the Cincinnati Enquirer reported on Tuesday.

Gennett, who turns 27 years old on May 1, was expendable as the Brewers planned to use Jonathan Villar on an everyday basis at second base. He’ll provide infield depth in Cincinnati.

Over parts of four seasons in the majors, Gennett has hit .279/.318/.420 with 35 home runs and 160 RBI in 1,637 plate appearances.