Derek Jeter’s Starbucks name is Philip

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Been staring at this story all day. Thinking I wasn’t gonna link to it. Thinking I had higher standards. But then the crowd thinned out, the bartender said it was last call and the only two of us in the place was me and it, so …

The Yankee shortstop was spotted yesterday leaving one of the coffee chain’s locations in Greenwich Village with a cup suspiciously marked with the name “Philip.” Without his pinstripes, the Yankee captain may have been trying to go incognito as he picked up a cup of joe.

Or, if his Starbucks is like all the ones I’ve been to, he’s just tired of it being spelled “Derrick” or “Deriequ” or maybe he actually said “Derek” and they just misspelled it “Philip.”

In other news, when I go to Starbucks I usually just get a regular cup of coffee. They only ask your name if you’re getting some complicated drink when it’s crowded. It makes me sad to think that the Baseball Jesus orders overly-complicated coffee drinks.

Someone stole the bat from the Ken Griffey, Jr. statue at Safeco Field

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The Mariners unveiled a statue of Hall of Fame outfielder Ken Griffey, Jr. earlier this year at Safeco Field, featuring the slugger in his famous follow-through seen after each of his 630 career home runs. Chris Daniels of KING 5 News in Seattle reported on Tuesday evening that someone had stolen the bat from the statue.

Thankfully, the Seattle Police Department announced that the bat has been recovered and a suspect has been arrested. They expect to provide more details later. Daniels reports the Mariners have confirmed the news.

My fellow Americans, our long national nightmare is over.