Bryce Harper vs. Jesus

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The media, particularly the Washington media, has spent several years now trafficking in some pretty major Bryce Harper hype. To his credit, Harper has lived up to that hype. More than lived up to it, in my view, to the point where the hype isn’t all that crazy.

So what to do you now if you’re a D.C. media type? You parody the hype as a means of telling everyone to not get too ahead of themselves in the Bryce Harper hype:

Harper at 20 vs. Jesus at 20: We’re talking “of Nazareth” here, not “Ivan de.” This was the toughest head-to-head matchup, but Bam-Bam wins again. Although he was purported to do some very good work as the Son of Man after 29, the New Testament has no record of Jesus between 12 and 30, often referred to by biblical scholars as “the silent years.” It’s assumed he was working as a Galilee carpenter for 18 years, but because there is no historical record, we can’t really say either way.

The only thing we do know is he didn’t crush two home runs on his first opening day, did he? One is considered the Messiah by many; the other saved baseball in Washington.

Or, I suppose, we could just watch and enjoy this guy’s game rather than decide whether he is overrated, underrated or properly rated. But that would leave a lot of columnists without things to do.

Jenny Cavnar to call Rockies play-by-play on Monday night

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According to former major leaguer and current broadcaster Ryan Spilborghs, Jenny Cavnar will be calling play-by-play of Monday night’s game against the Padres for the Rockies. The broadcast will be on AT&T Sportsnet Rocky Mountain Region.

Cavnar will be at least the third woman to call televised play-by-play for a major league team, joining Gayle Gardner (Rockies, 1993) and Suzyn Waldman (Yankees, mid-1990’s).

Broadcasting remains largely the domain of white men, so it’s always good when women and people of color are able to have a seat in the broadcasting booth.