Bryce Harper vs. Jesus

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The media, particularly the Washington media, has spent several years now trafficking in some pretty major Bryce Harper hype. To his credit, Harper has lived up to that hype. More than lived up to it, in my view, to the point where the hype isn’t all that crazy.

So what to do you now if you’re a D.C. media type? You parody the hype as a means of telling everyone to not get too ahead of themselves in the Bryce Harper hype:

Harper at 20 vs. Jesus at 20: We’re talking “of Nazareth” here, not “Ivan de.” This was the toughest head-to-head matchup, but Bam-Bam wins again. Although he was purported to do some very good work as the Son of Man after 29, the New Testament has no record of Jesus between 12 and 30, often referred to by biblical scholars as “the silent years.” It’s assumed he was working as a Galilee carpenter for 18 years, but because there is no historical record, we can’t really say either way.

The only thing we do know is he didn’t crush two home runs on his first opening day, did he? One is considered the Messiah by many; the other saved baseball in Washington.

Or, I suppose, we could just watch and enjoy this guy’s game rather than decide whether he is overrated, underrated or properly rated. But that would leave a lot of columnists without things to do.

Jose Altuve, Teoscar Hernandez leave game after collision

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Astros second baseman Jose Altuve and outfielder Teoscar Hernandez collided attempting to catch a shallow fly ball hit by Indians catcher Yan Gomes in the bottom of the eighth inning during Tuesday night’s game.

Hernandez, who was called up earlier on Tuesday, had just come into the game as a defensive replacement for Carlos Beltran. George Springer entered the game in right field in Hernandez’s place after Hernandez was carted off the field. Altuve was replaced at second base by Marwin Gonzalez.

The Astros should have updates on the conditions of both players after the game. Losing Altuve would be a big deal for the first-place Astros, as he entered the game batting .324/.393/.459 with seven stolen bases.

Dodgers promote top prospect Cody Bellinger

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MLB.com’s Ken Gurnick reports that the Dodgers have promoted 1B/OF prospect Cody Bellinger.

Bellinger, 21, is considered the Dodgers’ best prospect and No. 10 overall in baseball, according to MLB Pipeline. At Triple-A Oklahoma City, Bellinger was hitting .343/.429/.627 with five home runs, 15 RBI, 15 runs scored, and seven stolen bases in 77 plate appearances.

The Dodgers are dealing with a slew of injuries to their outfielders — most recently losing Joc Pederson to a strained groin — so Bellinger is likely to get regular playing time there.