Bryce Harper vs. Jesus

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The media, particularly the Washington media, has spent several years now trafficking in some pretty major Bryce Harper hype. To his credit, Harper has lived up to that hype. More than lived up to it, in my view, to the point where the hype isn’t all that crazy.

So what to do you now if you’re a D.C. media type? You parody the hype as a means of telling everyone to not get too ahead of themselves in the Bryce Harper hype:

Harper at 20 vs. Jesus at 20: We’re talking “of Nazareth” here, not “Ivan de.” This was the toughest head-to-head matchup, but Bam-Bam wins again. Although he was purported to do some very good work as the Son of Man after 29, the New Testament has no record of Jesus between 12 and 30, often referred to by biblical scholars as “the silent years.” It’s assumed he was working as a Galilee carpenter for 18 years, but because there is no historical record, we can’t really say either way.

The only thing we do know is he didn’t crush two home runs on his first opening day, did he? One is considered the Messiah by many; the other saved baseball in Washington.

Or, I suppose, we could just watch and enjoy this guy’s game rather than decide whether he is overrated, underrated or properly rated. But that would leave a lot of columnists without things to do.

Phillies sign Trevor Plouffe to minor league deal

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Infielder Trevor Plouffe has signed a minor league deal with the Phillies, Gerry Fraley of the Dallas Morning News reports. Plouffe asked for and was granted his release from the Rangers earlier this month.

Plouffe, 31, had a double and a home run in 17 plate appearances with Triple-A Round Rock to start the 2018 season. He spent last year with the Athletics and Rays, putting up a meager .198/.272/.318 batting line in 100 games.

Plouffe has mostly played third base throughout his career, but can also handle the other three infield spots and both outfield corners, so he’ll serve as organizational depth at Triple-A Lehigh Valley for the Phillies.