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Bryce Harper vs. Jesus

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The media, particularly the Washington media, has spent several years now trafficking in some pretty major Bryce Harper hype. To his credit, Harper has lived up to that hype. More than lived up to it, in my view, to the point where the hype isn’t all that crazy.

So what to do you now if you’re a D.C. media type? You parody the hype as a means of telling everyone to not get too ahead of themselves in the Bryce Harper hype:

Harper at 20 vs. Jesus at 20: We’re talking “of Nazareth” here, not “Ivan de.” This was the toughest head-to-head matchup, but Bam-Bam wins again. Although he was purported to do some very good work as the Son of Man after 29, the New Testament has no record of Jesus between 12 and 30, often referred to by biblical scholars as “the silent years.” It’s assumed he was working as a Galilee carpenter for 18 years, but because there is no historical record, we can’t really say either way.

The only thing we do know is he didn’t crush two home runs on his first opening day, did he? One is considered the Messiah by many; the other saved baseball in Washington.

Or, I suppose, we could just watch and enjoy this guy’s game rather than decide whether he is overrated, underrated or properly rated. But that would leave a lot of columnists without things to do.

Drew Pomeranz: “I definitely feel like I can maybe help (as a reliever in the playoffs).”

SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA - SEPTEMBER 5:  Drew Pomeranz #31 of the Boston Red Sox pitches during the second inning of a baseball game against the San Diego Padres at PETCO Park on September 5, 2016 in San Diego, California.  (Photo by Denis Poroy/Getty Images)
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Red Sox starter Drew Pomeranz hasn’t pitched in a week due to soreness in his left forearm. He threw a bullpen on Thursday afternoon and said, “I definitely feel like I can maybe help (as a reliever in the playoffs,” as ESPN’s Scott Lauber reports.

The Red Sox clinched the AL East on Wednesday, so they don’t need to rush Pomeranz along. And using him out of the bullpen might ultimately be best as he regressed quite a bit after coming to Boston from San Diego in July. In 13 starts with the Red Sox, Pomeranz has a 4.68 ERA with a 69/24 K/BB ratio in 67 1/3 innings.

Eduardo Rodriguez and Clay Buchholz have been throwing the ball quite well as of late. Paired with Rick Porcello and David Price, the Red Sox still have the depth to be menacing in the postseason.

Jesus Montero suspended 50 games for use of a stimulant

Seattle Mariners' Jesus Montero follows through on an RBI-double in the first inning of a spring training baseball game against the Kansas City Royals, Saturday, March 19, 2016, in Surprise, Ariz. (John Sleezer/The Kansas City Star via AP) MANDATORY CREDIT
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Remember Jesus Montero? The former Yankees and Mariners prospect? Well, he was picked up by the Blue Jays back in March after the Mariners waived him and played 126 games for Triple-A Buffalo this year. That went alright, I suppose, with Montero hitting .317/.349/.438 with 11 homers. He played a bit of first base too, trying to break the mold he’s been stuck in as a 26-year-old DH.

If this season was a platform for him to make one last push to the bigs, the platform was just pulled out from under him: he has been suspended for 50 games after testing positive for dimethylbutylamine (DMBA), a stimulant in violation of the Minor League Drug Prevention and Treatment Program.

The minor league season is over, of course, so he’ll serve that suspension next season. Assuming the Jays keep him in the fold.