Happy 30th anniversary, Lee Elia rant

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For the second week in a row we have an anniversary of a manager meltdown. Last week was Hal McRae, this week: Lee Elia. Who as Cubs manager in 1983 had what, for my money, is the absolute greatest manager meltdown of all time. This is better than McRrae. Better than Tommy Lasorda’s “what did you think of Dave Kingman’s performance” rant.  This one is the Gold Effing Standard.

And it’s the “effing” which is why. Never has a manager ever rattled off a more profane rant on tape. At least a tape that saw the light of day.  It’s such a fantastic blue streak that I don’t DARE embed it. If you want to hear it — and I am not lying, it’s about 200 F-bombs in a row, directed at Cubs fans — Google “Lee Elia rant” and listed to the first result. John Shea of the San Francisco Chronicle attempted to type out a sanitized version of it. He got one paragraph in before it, presumably, became too tiresome to insert the “bleeping” parts.

“I’ll tell you one (bleeping) thing, I hope we get (bleeping) hotter than (bleep) just to stuff it up them 3,000 (bleeping) people that show up every (bleeping) day, because if they’re the real Chicago (bleeping) fans, they can kiss my (bleeping) ass right downtown. And print it. They’re really, really behind you around here, my (bleeping) ass.”

Is it a coincidence that both the McRae and Elia rants happened around late April?  People ask all the time when to stop taking small sample sizes and early season results so seriously. I usually say sometime between Mother’s Day and Memorial Day. But given the tension here, maybe managers start feeling it in late April. Dunno.

UPDATE: Holy moly! You can buy the Elia rant, printed out, in handsome Cubs red and blue.

Six-year old boy reports the Indians want to give Francisco Lindor a seven-year contract

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The substance of the report is not shocking. Francisco Lindor is one of baseball’s brightest young stars and the Cleveland Indians would, no doubt, wish to lock him up for an extended period of time. The surprising part is the guy who reported that, yes, the Indians are working to get Lindor a seven-year extension.

That guy: six-year-old Brody Chernoff, son of Indians general manager Mike Chernoff. Brody was invited into the team’s broadcast booth during the ninth inning of their game against the Chicago White Sox. Indians announcer Tom Hamilton asked, no doubt jokingly, if his working on anything interesting. Brody:

“He’s trying to get, um, Lindor to play for seven more years,”

Again, not shocking. It would’ve been way worse if Brody had said “Dad’s working on a three-way deal that’ll send Naquin to an NL team in order to affect a three-way trade that’ll land us Verlander without having to deal directly with a divisional rival.” But I imagine Dad still would’ve preferred he not mention that.

Watch:

Braves sign David Hernandez

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Bill Whitehead of the Atlanta Journal Constitution reports that the Braves have signed reliever David Hernandez to a minor league contract on Sunday. He’ll report to spring training as a non-roster invitee.

Hernandez, who turns 32 years old in May, signed a minor league contract with the Giants in February. He requested and was granted his release on Friday when he learned he wasn’t making the team’s 25-man roster to open the season.

Hernandez pitched for the Phillies last year. He compiled a 3.84 ERA with an 80/32 K/BB ratio in 72 2/3 innings.