Happy 30th anniversary, Lee Elia rant

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For the second week in a row we have an anniversary of a manager meltdown. Last week was Hal McRae, this week: Lee Elia. Who as Cubs manager in 1983 had what, for my money, is the absolute greatest manager meltdown of all time. This is better than McRrae. Better than Tommy Lasorda’s “what did you think of Dave Kingman’s performance” rant.  This one is the Gold Effing Standard.

And it’s the “effing” which is why. Never has a manager ever rattled off a more profane rant on tape. At least a tape that saw the light of day.  It’s such a fantastic blue streak that I don’t DARE embed it. If you want to hear it — and I am not lying, it’s about 200 F-bombs in a row, directed at Cubs fans — Google “Lee Elia rant” and listed to the first result. John Shea of the San Francisco Chronicle attempted to type out a sanitized version of it. He got one paragraph in before it, presumably, became too tiresome to insert the “bleeping” parts.

“I’ll tell you one (bleeping) thing, I hope we get (bleeping) hotter than (bleep) just to stuff it up them 3,000 (bleeping) people that show up every (bleeping) day, because if they’re the real Chicago (bleeping) fans, they can kiss my (bleeping) ass right downtown. And print it. They’re really, really behind you around here, my (bleeping) ass.”

Is it a coincidence that both the McRae and Elia rants happened around late April?  People ask all the time when to stop taking small sample sizes and early season results so seriously. I usually say sometime between Mother’s Day and Memorial Day. But given the tension here, maybe managers start feeling it in late April. Dunno.

UPDATE: Holy moly! You can buy the Elia rant, printed out, in handsome Cubs red and blue.

The Red Sox sign Jhonny Peralta

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The Red Sox have signed third baseman Jhonny Peralta to a minor-league deal. He’ll report to Pawtucket.

Peralta, 35, hit a paltry .204/.259/.204 in 58 plate appearances for the Cardinals this year. But with Pablo Sandoval on the disabled list — and ineffective when he hasn’t been — the Sox could use some infield depth.

This is the second former Tiger that former Tigers GM Dave Dombrowski has picked up today, after signing Doug Fister. No word if he’s kicking the tires on Andy Dirks or Brennan Boesch.

Royals Designate Chris Young for assignment

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The Kansas City Royals have designated Chris Young for assignment. The move clears a spot on the 40-man roster for the addition of Neftali Feliz, who the Royals picked up yesterday.

Young was an excellent swingman for the Royals World Series-winning 2015 team, but he’s been terrible since then, posting a 6.52 ERA since the beginning of 2016. This year he’s got a 7.50 ERA in 14 games, two of which came as a starter. He has a ghastly 2.033 WHIP. He’s not foolin’ anyone out there.