This is drugs [holds up an egg].
This is your brain on drugs [cracks eggs into frying pan, fries eggs, struggles to make it out of Single-A ball so decides to take some steroids and stuff in order to his some more dingers]:
The Office of the Commissioner of Baseball announced today that two Boston Red Sox Minor League players have been suspended following their violations of the Minor League Drug Prevention and Treatment Program.
Right-handed pitcher Gerson Bautista has received a 50-game suspension without pay after testing positive for Metabolites of Stanozolol. The suspension of Bautista, who is on the roster of the Dominican Summer League Red Sox, is effective at the start of the DSL season.
Left-handed pitcher Miguel Pena has received a 50-game suspension without pay following a second positive test for a drug of abuse. The suspension of Pena, who is on the roster of the Single-A Salem Red Sox of the Carolina League, is effective immediately.
[Then Rachel Leigh Cook comes in, hits Bautista and Pena over the head with frying pan; parlays that whole bit into a middling acting career in the late 90s and early 2000s, sort of undermining the whole point of the PSA in the first place].
This is more significant for basketball fans than baseball fans, but Magic Johnson is taking over basketball operations for the Los Angeles Lakers. Dan Feldman over at PBT has the full story on that.
For our purposes, you probably know that Johnson is part of the Dodgers ownership group. Anthony McCullough of the L.A. Times got comment from the Dodgers, saying that despite his new full-time job, his status with the Dodgers will be unchanged:
Maybe I’m alone in this, but I’m not entirely certain what Magic does with the Lakers, so the first clause in Kasten’s comment may be doing most of the heavy lifting here.
Jon Heyman reports that the Nationals are closing in on a deal with catcher Matt Wieters. Joel Sherman of the New York Post reports that it’s a two-year deal. UPDATE: Ken Rosenthal reports that the deal is for two years, at $21 million. There is an opt-out for him after year one. He will get $10 million in 2017 and, if he returns in 2018, he’ll get $11 million.
Wieters was not expected to go this long without signing, but his market, which many thought would be robust, never materialized. The Nats had been rumored to be interested for months, but they were apparently waiting to swoop in late and get what one presumes will be a bargain.
Wieters, 30, finished last season hitting .243/.302/.409 with 17 home runs and 66 RBI in 464 plate appearances. The Nationals currently have Derek Norris and Jose Lobaton, so who falls where in the catcher fight in Washington is unclear, but one presumes that Wieters getting a two-year deal puts him at the top of the depth chart.