Two Red Sox minor leaguers suspended

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This is drugs [holds up an egg].

This is your brain on drugs [cracks eggs into frying pan, fries eggs, struggles to make it out of Single-A ball so decides to take some steroids and stuff in order to his some more dingers]:

The Office of the Commissioner of Baseball announced today that two Boston Red Sox Minor League players have been suspended following their violations of the Minor League Drug Prevention and Treatment Program.

Right-handed pitcher Gerson Bautista has received a 50-game suspension without pay after testing positive for Metabolites of Stanozolol.  The suspension of Bautista, who is on the roster of the Dominican Summer League Red Sox, is effective at the start of the DSL season.

Left-handed pitcher Miguel Pena has received a 50-game suspension without pay following a second positive test for a drug of abuse.  The suspension of Pena, who is on the roster of the Single-A Salem Red Sox of the Carolina League, is effective immediately.

[Then Rachel Leigh Cook comes in, hits Bautista and Pena over the head with frying pan; parlays that whole bit into a middling acting career in the late 90s and early 2000s, sort of undermining the whole point of the PSA in the first place].

The Marlins made an empty threat. Giancarlo Stanton made an empty promise.

Associated Press
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I covered the main press conference about Giancarlo Stanton earlier, but afterward he and his agents fanned out to various TV shows, radio shows and reporter scrums from which some new, fun things have spun out. Part of what they’ve talked about is silly and meaningless, part of it just meaningless.

Here’s the silly and meaningless, from a Marlins official, apparently, trying to bully Stanton into accepting either the Giants or the Cardinals trades despite the fact that he told them beforehand that he was not willing to go to either of those teams:

This is silly because it comes off like a threat. Like the worst possible thing that can happen to a guy is to stay with the very team that is making the threat. It’s like telling your wife that if she does not leave you, she’s stuck with you forever.

It’s meaningless too, in that Stanton has an opt-out clause after 2020. If the Marlins could not make a trade Stanton would approve, he’d simply collect close to $90 million and then leave at age 30. Oooh, don’t throw me into that briar patch, Mr. Jeter!

Not that Stanton’s people are offering statements of serious gravitas. His agent was asked about Stanton’s opt-out rights, which he retains even though he’s now with the Yankees:

That may very well be true! He just got here and everything is going great so far. It’s totally empty, of course, because anything can happen between now and the fall of 2020. If the big time free agents of the next two years sign for the sort of money that makes Stanton look underpaid, he’ll certainly opt-out, even if he wants to stay with the Yankees. Ask Alex Rodriguez and CC Sabathia how that works. The opt-out clause is pure, unadulterated leverage for a player and unless he totally craters over the next three seasons he’ll most certainly use it, regardless of present desires.

Which, hey, that’s how things work when a big trade or free agent signing happens. Everyone who has lost looks bad and everyone who won sounds happy. Then, later, the baseball happens.