This is drugs [holds up an egg].
This is your brain on drugs [cracks eggs into frying pan, fries eggs, struggles to make it out of Single-A ball so decides to take some steroids and stuff in order to his some more dingers]:
The Office of the Commissioner of Baseball announced today that two Boston Red Sox Minor League players have been suspended following their violations of the Minor League Drug Prevention and Treatment Program.
Right-handed pitcher Gerson Bautista has received a 50-game suspension without pay after testing positive for Metabolites of Stanozolol. The suspension of Bautista, who is on the roster of the Dominican Summer League Red Sox, is effective at the start of the DSL season.
Left-handed pitcher Miguel Pena has received a 50-game suspension without pay following a second positive test for a drug of abuse. The suspension of Pena, who is on the roster of the Single-A Salem Red Sox of the Carolina League, is effective immediately.
[Then Rachel Leigh Cook comes in, hits Bautista and Pena over the head with frying pan; parlays that whole bit into a middling acting career in the late 90s and early 2000s, sort of undermining the whole point of the PSA in the first place].
The Yankees have activated shortstop Didi Gregorius from the 10-day disabled list, the club announced on Friday. Infielder Pete Kozma was designated for assignment to clear roster space.
Gregorius, 27, suffered a strained right shoulder while playing in the World Baseball Classic last month. He’s in Friday’s starting lineup, batting sixth against the Orioles.
Last season, Gregorius hit .276/.304/.447 with 20 home runs and 70 RBI in 597 plate appearances.
Jon Heyman of FanRag Sports reports that the Mets will place outfielder Yoenis Cespedes on the 10-day disabled list with a strained left hamstring. Cespedes left Thursday’s game after suffering the injury running the bases.
Things keep going poorly for the Mets, who are in last place in the NL East with an 8-13 record. Cespedes will join a lengthy list of names in the infirmary, including David Wright, Lucas Duda, Wilmer Flores, Steven Matz, Seth Lugo, and Noah Syndergaard.
Cespedes is batting a very productive .270/.373/.619 with six home runs and 10 RBI through his first 75 plate appearances.
With Cespedes out, Michael Conforto should be cemented as an everyday player and Juan Lagares will handle center field with Granderson moving back to right field and Jay Bruce covering first base.