Attention media: Don’t call the Sacramento River Cats the wrong name or else you’ll be fined $1

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The Sacramento River Cats — who are often misidentified as “RiverCats” or “Rivercats” or “Ham Fighters” issued a press release today imploring the media who cover them to get the name right or cough up a buck:

 

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Hey guys, that’s great. But before you start fining people, could you maybe add a space in your logo? Because that sure does look like “RiverCats” to me.

Someone stole the bat from the Ken Griffey, Jr. statue at Safeco Field

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The Mariners unveiled a statue of Hall of Fame outfielder Ken Griffey, Jr. earlier this year at Safeco Field, featuring the slugger in his famous follow-through seen after each of his 630 career home runs. Chris Daniels of KING 5 News in Seattle reported on Tuesday evening that someone had stolen the bat from the statue.

Thankfully, the Seattle Police Department announced that the bat has been recovered and a suspect has been arrested. They expect to provide more details later. Daniels reports the Mariners have confirmed the news.

My fellow Americans, our long national nightmare is over.