Wanna buy Andruw Jones’ house?

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You may not think just under $5 million is any kind of a bargain, but it is 25,000 square feet, so your money really is going a long, bloated, way:

Sited on a prime 2-acre lot with world class views, Jones’ home is described in the listing as “The ULTIMATE in LUXURY.” In most cases, this type of hyperbole would be brushed off as just your run-of-the-mill broker babble. However, when you consider the sheer size of Jones’ home (it’s huge; has 9 bedrooms and 15 bathrooms) and it’s laundry list of fine features (indoor basketball court, elevator, indoor resistance pool, sauna, indoor batting cage, double waterfall, etc.), it’s quite clear this home is in a class of its own, or as the listing chimes, “For the buyer who wants the BEST of everything.”

Thing is, it used to be a lean and efficient house but it ballooned up to its current size over several years beginning in the mid-2000s.

No word on how much you’d have to pay to get all of the Andruw Jones-ness out of it before move-in, because that would definitely be needed.

We now have photographic proof that Tom Ricketts and Ted Cruz are different people

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A lot of people think they have a double walking around someplace on Earth. They may actually be right. We have an example of this in baseball and politics.

Cubs owner Tom Ricketts looks a lot like Texas senator Ted Cruz. Or, since Ricketts is older, I guess Cruz looks like Ricketts. Either way, they could play brothers if someone put on, like, the worst ever production of some play about brothers.

If you’re not familiar with one or both of those guys, take a gander at the photo that was taken of the two of them in Washington this morning as the Cubs made the rounds with their World Series trophy:

If they put those rings together, Tom can turn into any animal and Ted can turn into anything made out of water. True story.

 

Anthony Rizzo calls out Miguel Montero for calling out Jake Arreita

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The morning we posted about Miguel Montero calling out his pitcher, Jake Arrieta, for allowing the Nationals to steal seven bases last night. Our view, of course, was that (a) it wasn’t all Arrieta’s fault; and (b) even if it was, publicly calling out your teammates like that is probably not a great idea and certainly isn’t a good look.

When I saw Montero’s comments I assumed that they would not play well in the Cubs’ clubhouse. I was right about that. Anthony Rizzo appeared on ESPN 1000 in Chicago this morning and had this to say:

Referring to Willson Contreras, of course, who has allowed 31 stolen bases to opponents while behind the dish. Coincidentally, Montero has allowed 31 stolen bases when he has played as well. Contreras has played in 24 more games than Montero, by the way.

I predict that, by around 3pm when the clubhouses open, we’ll see a public apology by Montero.