Italian sausage costume used for Miller Park races went bar-hopping and is now AWOL

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As part of the festivities at Miller Park during Brewers games there’s a “sausage race” where people in Italian sausage, bratwurst, Polish Sausage, hot dog, and chorizo costumes have a mascot race.

But now the Italian sausage costume is missing, reports Lydia Mulvany of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel:

The Klement’s Racing Italian Sausage went barhopping in Cedarburg recently, delighting patrons and posing for photos. The only problem: No one can say who was wearing the $3,000 costume, which had just been stolen from the city’s Winter Festival.

The 7-foot-long weenie was lying unused in a backroom at the Milwaukee Curling Club’s new Cedarburg location during a fundraiser on Feb. 16 with beer-tasting and curling, and a witness saw the sausage walk out of the south door about 7:45 p.m., Cedarburg police Detective Jeff Vahsholtz said Wednesday. The Italian walked into TJ Ryan’s in Cedarburg an hour later and also made an appearance around midnight at The Roadhouse Bar and Grill.

I’m sort of shocked to learn that those costumes cost $3,000, but not at all shocked to learn that someone who would steal a $3,000 sausage costume would immediately take it to a bar to hang out.

And here’s my favorite part from the news article: “Mustard Girl All American Mustards has offered a year’s supply of mustard to anyone who returns the Italian Sausage costume.”

What if this was all just a long con meant to secure a whole bunch of mustard?

DOJ settles antirust lawsuit against cable companies who don’t carry Dodgers games

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Last November, the U.S. Department of Justice sued AT&T, accusing its subsidiary, DirecTV, of being the ringleader in a plot in which it conspired with Cox Communications, Charter Communications and AT&T cable (then a separate company), to refuse to carry SportsNet LA, the Dodger-owned TV channel in violation of antitrust laws.

Now that lawsuit is over. The DOJ settled with AT&T last night.

The bad news: no part of the settlement obligates DirecTV or any of the other alleged co-conspirators to carry Dodgers games or to even negotiate to that end. There is likewise no fine or truly substantive penalty. It’s basically a “do not do this again!” agreement with some antitrust training requirements for executives and some orders to monitor their communications about these things.

“We are pleased to have resolved this matter to the satisfaction of all parties,” an AT&T spokesman said yesterday, likely in the tone of a guy who is pretty happy to have had a major antitrust suit against him settled so quickly.

When the suit was filed, I anticipated a settlement, as most antitrust suits brought by the DOJ are settled. Such a settlement could’ve featured a cash penalty or, more significantly, a brokered agreement between the parties in question in lieu of a cash settlement that could’ve led to Dodgers games being carried on more channels. After all, more competition is the end game of the Antirust Division.

As it is, however, it’s hard to see this as anything other than a surrender by the DOJ and a victory for the those carriers who coordinated their efforts to not carry the Dodgers.

An open question, unanswered in anyone’s statements yesterday, is whether this settlement is 100% about the merits of the case — keeping in mind that the DOJ tends not to file antitrust suits unless they think they can win, instead preferring to negotiate first — or whether it represents a new set of laxer priorities when it comes to antitrust enforcement from the Trump Administration and AG Jeff Sessions.

Video: Jake Arrieta hits a 465-foot home run off of Zack Greinke

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Jake Arrieta‘s bat is in midseason form already. The Cubs’ ace swatted a solo home run to center field off of Zack Greinke in Thursday afternoon’s Grapefruit League exhibition game, his first homer of the spring.

The blast went 465 feet, according to MLB.com’s Daren Willman.

Arrieta has hit two home runs in each of the past two seasons. Madison Bumgarner (eight) and Noah Syndergaard (four) are the only other pitchers to match or exceed his output in that department.

Greinke, meanwhile, is hoping to bounce back after a miserable 2016 season. He finished with an uncharacteristic 4.37 ERA in 26 starts in his first year with the Diamondbacks.