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Judges agree that, yes, the Yankees are the “Evil Empire”

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Here’s the weirdest story you’ll read today. And I promise you it’s not from the Onion.

According to Ashby Jones and Dan Barbarisi of the Wall Street Journal, a panel of trademark judges denied a request for a private entrepreneur, Evil Enterprises, Inc., to register the phrase “Baseballs Evil Empire” after the Yankees objected.

The phrase, at least in the baseball world, was coined by Red Sox president Larry Lucchino in 2002 after the Yankees signed Cuban right-hander Jose Contreras. The Yankees have come to embrace the identity of being the “Evil Empire” over the years, even playing the Imperial March from “Star Wars” during their home games. This was actually part of the Yankees’ argument in the case, as well as numerous articles mentioning them in connection with the phrase.

The best part of this whole thing might be the judges’ explanation of their ruling.

“In short, the record shows that there is only one Evil Empire in baseball and it is the New York Yankees,” wrote the judges. “Accordingly, we find that [the Yankees] have a protectable trademark right in the term . . . as used in connection with baseball.”

Classic stuff. Of course, in the opinion of some Yankees fans, they haven’t been nearly evil enough recently.

Diamondbacks will call up Braden Shipley to start on Monday

MINNEAPOLIS, MN - JULY 13:  Braden Shipley of the U.S. Team during the SiriusXM All-Star Futures Game at Target Field on July 13, 2014 in Minneapolis, Minnesota.  (Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)
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The Diamondbacks announced on Sunday that the club will call up pitching prospect Braden Shipley from Triple-A Reno to start on Monday against the Brewers. He’ll oppose Chase Anderson.

Shipley, 24, was selected by the Diamondbacks in the first round — 15th overall — of the 2013 draft. This season, his first at Triple-A, Shipley has compiled a 3.70 ERA with a 77/22 K/BB ratio in 119 1/3 innings.

MLB Pipeline ranks Shipley as the Diamondbacks’ best prospect and 58th overall in baseball. The right-hander throws a fastball that sits in the low-90’s but can reach the mid-90’s. Shipley is also regarded for throwing a change-up and a power curve.

The Astros are calling up infield prospect Alex Bregman

SAN DIEGO, CA - JULY 10:  Alex Bregman #2 of the Houston Astros and the U.S. Team is congratulated by teammates after scoring during the SiriusXM All-Star Futures Game at PETCO Park on July 10, 2016 in San Diego, California.  (Photo by Sean M. Haffey/Getty Images)
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After Sunday’s win against the Angels, the Astros announced that the club is calling up infield prospect Alex Bregman. Danny Worth has been designated for assignment to create room on the roster.

Bregman, 22, is considered the Astros’ best prospect and #18 overall in baseball according to MLB Pipeline. He hit .297/.415/.559 with 14 home runs and 46 RBI with Double-A Corpus Christi before being promoted to Triple-A Fresno. In 18 games with Fresno, Bregman hit .333/.373/.641 with six home runs and 15 RBI.

Bregman doesn’t have an obvious positional opening with the Astros, particularly since the club also signed Yulieski Gourriel. As a result, Bregman played some third base and, recently, left field. So the Astros may have him play at a handful of positions, even giving the middle infield regulars Jose Altuve and Carlos Correa a breather every so often.