Sorry, Mike, but you’re a bit late on this one. The mob formed three minutes after the first report dropped. Check out the court Lupica and the guys at the Daily News convened. The boiler on The Conclusion Train has been burning for a few weeks now and it’s ten stations down the line. But it’s nice to hear someone say it at least:
Baseball union head Michael Weiner says reporters should refrain from jumping to conclusions about media reports linking players to a Florida anti-aging clinic accused of distributing banned performance-enhancing drugs … “The players understand that what’s happening in Miami at this point remains to be seen in terms of fairness and judging things on the evidence …”
Meanwhile, in newsrooms across America:
Baseball Media: “Your guilt has been determined. This is merely a sentencing hearing. Now, what will it be? Death or Exile?”
Biogenesis Players: “If you think we’re going to walk out on that ice willingly, you got another thing coming!
Baseball Media: “So it’s death then?”
Biogenesis Players: “Looks that way.”
Baseball Media: “Very well then. Death! [gavel smash] … By exile!”
There’s a saying that goes “nothing good ever happens after 2AM.” It can also be said that nothing good ever happens after, say, week 5 or 6 of spring training.
Today, for instance, are a lot of inconsequential games. Those are neutral. Then there are a rash of these sorts of incidents which just went down today, all of which are bad:
Archer seems to be OK for now. Moncada walked off his thing and went back into the game. We’re still waiting to hear on Bumgarner and Ichiro. If there is anything serious with them we’ll update as we learn things.
But really, guys: Spring Training is too long. Even in a year like this one, when it’s a tad shorter than usual because of an early start to the regular season. Everyone who was gonna get their timing down well enough to make a big league roster has already done so. If someone isn’t healthy and in playing shape now, they’re not gonna be six days from now for Opening Day. The cake, as they say, is baked.
All that can happen is possessed-by-the-devil baseballs attacking unsuspecting players and injuring them in meaningless exhibitions. Let’s cease all baseball now until the regular season starts. Out of an abundance of caution.