Go read Pat Jordan’s fantastic spring training piece

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It’s simply marvelous. And does more to make me want baseball to begin than 500 crappy batting practice pictures from beat writers’ iPhones:

It was the first time I was ever in bed with a woman and the first time I ever saw a woman naked. But I guess I did all right. Sex was like baseball. You didn’t have to think too much. You just did it, which maybe would have helped me in my career if I’d had the same attitude toward pitching that I had that night toward having sex with Dotty Johnson in her bed.

There’s great stuff about Hank Aaron, Warren Spahn and Joe Torre in there too, but I figured I’d tease it with Dotty Johnson.

Red Sox manager John Farrell receives a one-game suspension

Fox
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Major League Baseball announced that Boston Red Sox manager John Farrell has received a one-game suspension and an undisclosed fine for his actions during an argument with third base umpire Bill Miller in the top of the seventh inning of the Sox’ game against the Angels on Saturday night at Fenway Park.

The argument was over a balk call on Fernando Abad, which brought in a run for the Angels. It wasn’t Miller’s call — home plate ump Ryan Blakney made the call — but Miller is the crew chief. Things got pretty animated as Farrell got face-to-face with Miller and the spittle flew:

Managers do not have the right to appeal a suspension, so Farrell will be sitting out tonight’s game against the Twins.

Alabama man arrested for stealing a Braves golf cart from SunTrust Park

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Last Tuesday night, the Braves hosted the San Francisco Giants at SunTrust Park. They lost 6-3. An Alabama man named Marcus Stephens almost came away a winner, however. At least if stealing a $4,500 golf cart that belongs to the Braves makes you a winner, which in some circles I suppose it would.

Stephens lost, however, when he crashed the cart into a metal pole, attempted to flee on foot and was apprehended by Cobb County Sheriff’s deputies. This all went down at 1:40AM Wednesday morning. The report doesn’t mention anything about alcohol being involved but I’ve read enough stories like this to make educated guesses about such things.

That being said, Stephens seems relatively composed in his mugshot:

I mean, yeah, the eyes look a bit red and puffy and the overall vibe he gives off is “I came to the game as part of the Sigma Nu reunion (Auburn University class of ’06, WAR DAMN EAGLE!),” but I expected much worse after reading the headline.

Anyway, dude is out on bail. Somewhere, someone is really super proud of him, I’m sure.